One Good Reason
A My Life as a
Teenage Robot Fanfic
Chapter Nine Lets
Get It On
The air hummed with the whirring of motors and the
high-pitched whine of charging lasers.P
A series of loud metallic snaps rippled through the ranks of
six-foot Cluster drones, as they deployed extra sets of limbs for combat.P A blizzard of red markers swam in Drews
computer-assisted eyesight, as forty-one red labels reading THREAT popped up in
his vision as if he needed the nanobots to tell him that.P The Cluster horde was on the verge of
breaking into the Wakeman house to kidnap the doctor and the guys; after that,
Vexus would use them to force Jenny to surrender herself.P Unless.P Unless, somehow, one gooey, spindly blob of silver pizza dough
could stop them.
Vexus stood back from the action, annoyed that this little
skirmish was even necessary.P Lets get
this over with, shall we?P Eliminate the
android, and seize the doctor!
Drews body shimmered like the surface of an oil slick, and
his chest heaved as he made one last attempt to calm down.P Ohhh, crappity crappity crappity crappity
The first row of Cluster drones charged.P A pair of giant claws swung at him
And missed badly, as his liquid body folded and twisted out
of the way.P Surprised and frustrated, three
drones churned their arms through the air, swinging their blades at the evasive
silver android; but it kept stretching, and dodging, and twisting out of their
reach.P Finally, after Drew had twisted
himself into a surreal, inhuman pretzel, two of the drones coordinated their
efforts, and sliced him through the waist.P
Both halves of his body fell to the ground with a moist thud.P Four drones took aim with their antennae,
ready to turn the irritating android into a charred cinder.
But to their amazement, he quickly liquefied into a large
metallic puddle, which rippled like silver gelatin.P One curious red drone leaned over to inspect the shiny pool and
was brutally knocked back, as a large silver-green spike lunged out of the
puddle, and rammed it clean through the chest.P
The rest of the nano-goo leapt through the hole, and Drew oozed himself
back into humanoid form on the other side.
Drew grew his arms into another pair of long, nano-edged
blades, and swung them furiously at the next row of drones.P These robots werent caught by surprise, and
they countered him with their own blade weapons.P A robot swordfight briefly erupted in the middle of the lawn, and
although Drews perfect nano-blades were superior weapons, he was outnumbered
and completely surrounded.P His sensors
told him that attackers were right behind him.P
A pair of blades sliced through the air, aiming for his head
But Drews head and torso split neatly in half, like a giant
tuning fork, and folded out of the way.P
The attacking drone fell forward and planted his claw-blades directly
through the chest panel of one of his comrades.P In that moment of confusion, two silver-green stalks swung into
the air, like a pair of scorpion tails, and sliced into another pair of
roach-drones.P A fresh pool of oil and
hydraulics spurted onto the lawn, and a pair of severed drone-arms fell to the
ground, twitching like robotic serpents.
The sound of shredding metal overpowered the clangs
and swishes of swinging claw-blades.P
A Cluster drone had finally pierced the thick shielding on the front
door.P Drew looked back towards the
house with alarm, even as a fresh wave of angry, frustrated drones charged his
amorphous form.P The drones swung their
powerful robotic claws at the shiny goo
And grabbed onto nothing.P
The metallic nano-sludge catapulted itself out of the mob, like a squirt
of water from a fountain.P With a thick,
bubbling schlorrrp, the liquid slopped itself into android form, and
Drew clumsily landed behind a yellow Cluster drone, just as it was about to
peel back the front door.P He grabbed
its insectoid arms from behind, with his hands already shimmering in patterns
of silver-green.P The drone shuddered as
its arms popped off at the shoulders, dissolved through by nanobots.
Drew took a quick moment to relax.P Unfortunately, thats when the red drone beside him took aim with
his laser.P With a bright crimson blast,
Drews head vaporized into a cloud of powdery gray ash.P The red drone grinned as it watched the
headless android wobble for a moment then, to its astonishment, the android
turned towards him, and planted its fists on its hips.P Its neck started to gurgle, and then a fresh
blob of silver-green bubbled up, stretching and oozing until the silver android
was whole once more.
Hey, that was my head! shouted Drew.P I use that!P He raised his arm to the stunned drones
chest, and a nano-edged spike shot through the thick metal shell.P Then he quickly turned to shield himself
from another group of advancing drones.P
Even as they hacked at his arm-spikes with their blade-weapons, he saw
two more drones by the living room windows.P
They were carving a large circle in the metal plates with their lasers,
and they were almost finished.P Drew
flowed into a puddle and rolled under the legs of the baffled
roach-drones.P With a whining schweerrp,
a pair of arms sprang up, and grabbed a green roach by the base of its
antennae-lasers, pulling them away from the windows.
Drew wrestled ineffectively with the roach as he morphed
back to humanoid form.P As he tried to
rip off the drones antennae, he placed his hand against the back of its head
and the drone went numb, its arms and antennae hanging limp.P He didnt have time to wonder why, as more
lasers screeched at him from a dozen charging roaches.P He spun his inert drone around, using it as
a shield.P Man, what I wouldnt give
to have a laser gun pop out of my elbow right about now.P I could sure use a little cover fire
The green drone suddenly perked up in his grasp, and came to
full attention.P Its antennae glowed a
brilliant ruby red and then it opened fire on the advancing crowd of
Cluster drones.P The densely packed
drones took dozens of hits before falling back a few steps, confused at this
apparent act of treason on the part of their comrade.P A small smile started to grow on Drews face.
I can interface with electronics just like the computer inside this
ugly suckers bug-brain here.P A
stunned yellow drone, standing a few feet away, raised its own lasers to attack
but Drews arm shot out like a silver tentacle, and punched into the back of
its short, rounded head.P Now he had a
Cluster puppet dangling from the end of each arm, pelting the remaining
roach-drones with nonstop laser fire, driving them back away from the house.
All right!P This is sw-e-e-eet!P He couldnt help himself; he was getting a
kick out of the bewildered looks on the faces of the Cluster attackers.P Check it out!P His Cluster drones stopped firing, then started to swing their
hips and sing a little song.P
The vicious insect warriors waved their arms in the air, in rhythm to
the music.P The world aint so big,
its just right
ARRGHHH! Vexus screamed from her perch atop the CNS news
van.P Her eyes were crackling with fury;
she was this close to victory, and the only thing standing in her way
was that that bizarre silver idiot.P
The orb above her head glowed a furious orange.P All robots, converge on that silver android
and wipe it from existence!P NOW!!!
There was still a hundred prisoners kneeling on the ground
in five neat rows, surrounded by the corrupted SWAT droids.P Up to this point, the police-bots were
following their last orders guard the human prisoners until they could be
taken through the portal, back to Cluster Prime.P But they werent as important to Vexus as getting Dr.
Wakeman.P Now the robots turned their
weapons away from the prisoners, and joined the remaining Cluster drones in a
renewed assault on the lone silver-green obstacle.
Still glad Jennys not here, you nimrods? Drew shouted at
the prisoners.P Run!P Go!P
Git!P Amscray!P That was all the encouragement they
needed.P Ignored by the robots, the
panicked mob bolted out of the yard and ran down the street, every one for
The wounded army of roach-drones, bolstered by the twelve
captured SWAT droids, brought their lasers to full charge and opened up a
withering barrage on their target.P Drew
shook and shuddered under the rapid-fire impact of so many weapons at once.P A lot of the shots were blasting into his
two unlucky drone-shields, but he couldnt cover his entire body with just two
robots.P He winced as a pair of shots
seared through his body, punching out a pair of six-inch holes.P Okay, standing still and getting shot
aint much of a strategy.P Ive got to
keep moving here.
He hurled the battered robot husks away, and launched
himself in a random direction towards a group of drones, frantically trying to
come up with ideas.P His body stretched
and twisted madly through the crowd, flinging his arms like whips.P Another set of nano-blades grew and sliced
through a pair of drones; then a laser blast shattered the blades, and they
crumbled into a pile of fine gray dust.P
He grabbed onto a red drone with his feet, pinning it to the ground as
his body turned into a silver battering ram.P
He landed two crushing blows to the drones head, before a powerful
punch knocked him away.
A yellow drone grabbed him from behind, holding him tight as
four SWAT droids took aim with their weapons.P
Just as they opened fire, Drews body expanded outward into a giant
silver donut.P The lasers passed right
through the hole in the middle, obliterating the drone.P The surreal silver-green form, looking like
a piece of modern art, swooped over their heads in an arch.P A long stringy tendril dropped down, and
quickly looped itself around the necks of the police-bots.P Drew had turned a piece of his body into an
ultra-strong carbon-filament cable.P
Before the police-bots could react, the cable snapped tight and popped
their heads off, like giant pimples.
But then Drew felt six robotic claws close around his body,
trying to pull him apart like a giant strand of silver taffy.P He oozed and flowed, escaping from four of
them, but the other two yanked hard, and snapped his body through the air like
a rope.P Loops of silver-green play-doh
plopped down in a pile on the sidewalk, and liquefied into a metallic puddle
once again but the remaining Cluster drones pounced on him, and pumped his
body with blast after blast of relentless laser fire.P Drew could feel chunks of himself being vaporized into ash.P He had lost about half of his body mass in
the battle so far
He squirted into the air, wrapping himself around a red
drones face.P The drone clutched madly
at him, trying to pull the silver-green blob away but his comrades werent
going to take chances.P The unlucky red
drone jerked about like a marionette, as his Cluster brothers blasted it with
their lasers.P Then a shot to the chest
catapulted it backwards, into the side of the Channel Four news van.P With a horrific crash, the van flipped it on
its side, and the red drone rolled into the middle of the street.
The Cluster forces had been reduced by almost a third Drew
had given them more of a fight than anyone had expected but that fight was
about to end.P The drones and SWAT
droids poured into the street, ready to finish off the remains of the
shape-shifting android.P The badly
damaged red drone managed to sit up with a feeble metallic creak, and
looked down onto its chest.P It was
covered with a large blob of silver-green molasses an angry silver amoeba,
shimmering with wild, rippling patterns of green.
To the drones horror, the silver slime started to engulf
its body.P It clutched and grabbed with
renewed desperation, trying to wipe off the expanding layer of metallic
goo.P Waving its arms in panic, it
unleashed a robotic scream into the air, as its body, arms, and head dissolved
into a shiny ball of paste.P The other
drones stared on in shock, and for the first time, a hint of fear registered on
their faces.P They were all soldiers,
and were all ready to give their lives in the service of their queen.P But it was one thing to be shot, or
destroyed, or dismantled.P It was
another thing entirely to be eaten alive.
The blob of silver-green, now fully rejuvenated, once more
oozed and stretched back into humanoid form.P
A pair of Cluster drones were standing only a few yards away; Drews
right arm shot out like water from a fire hose, and his fingers wrapped around
a yellow drones chest.P With a gurgling
schlorrrrp, a wave of silver ooze flowed over the next victims
body.P The drone kicked and screamed
like a wild animal, but it had no defenses against the ravenous little
nanobots.P They broke its shell and
machinery down into raw materials, and absorbed its atoms back into Drews arm.
He gave the remaining drones a wicked smile.P I guess robots are like potato chips, he
chuckled.P You cant eat just one.
Then he jumped high in the air, and morphed his hands and
feet into sharp claws a silver predator pouncing on its hapless prey.P A wave of terror swept over the robots, and
they scrambled to avoid the attack of this freakish robo-cannibal.P Drew landed on the backs of two green
drones, puncturing their shells with nano-tipped claws, and started devouring
them from the inside out.P The attackers
were down to half strength; but as afraid as they were of being eaten, they
were more afraid of failing in front of Vexus.P
They regrouped twenty yards away from the silver android, and prepared
for another laser attack.
But Drew had just consumed four Cluster drones, and his body
had grown.P He flowed into a
large silver puddle in the middle of the street, five times larger than
before.P It bubbled and shimmered then
surged into the air, sprouting a pair of double-jointed legs.P Then another pair.P Then a third, then a fourth.P
His body hung ten feet above the ground, supported by eight nimble,
lethal double-jointed pincers; each leg shimmered with ripples of silver-green,
ready to attack in any direction.P His
head flowed out, and gave the remaining robots a nasty glare.
The giant silver tarantula charged at the terrified robots,
with leg-blades swinging like a giant threshing machine.P Perfect nano-blades sliced through the
roach-drones as if they were made of cream cheese.P More blades sliced through the air, severing the laser-antennae
of the soldier drones.P The four
rearward legs grew a pair of massive claws at their ends; each one lunged out
and grabbed a SWAT droid around its neck, and the nanobots melted off their
A green drone managed to get a shot off at Drews front leg,
severing it at the knee.P Drew simply
grew a hand at the end of the stub, grabbed the leg, and used it like a giant
dagger to impale a pair of roach-drones.P
He circled around the dwindling numbers of Cluster robots, slicing at
them with his long, supple legs, twisting his ribbon-like body between the
searing shafts of laser fire.P A side
leg shoved its spike-tip through another SWAT droid, sending it crumpling to
the pavement.P A front leg rammed into
the grill of one of the news vans, and with a mighty heave, hauled out the
engine block then started swinging it overhand, like a huge mallet, crushing
Cluster drones like soda cans.
But then Drew winced from the brilliance of a blinding
light.P A sizzling bolt of energy shot
out from somewhere with a deafening roar, and tore through the legs on his left
side.P He crashed to the pavement in an
undignified heap, and watched his severed legs deteriorate into fizzling mounds
of glowing gray ash.P He scrambled to
repair the left side of his body, and frantically tried to pull himself off the
ground.P Just when I thought I was
actually getting somewhere where the heck did THAT come from?!?
That will be quite enough from you, hissed an irritated
Vexus hovered next to the CNS news van, which had suddenly
sprouted a gigantic particle cannon from its roof.P And that cannon had pivoted to point directly at Drew, who was
lying in the middle of the street, in semi-liquid form.P Vexus shoulders heaved with
aggravation.P Decoy Robot Unit,
indeed.P You have proven to be
surprisingly she grit her teeth annoying and as amusing as
it might be to take you back to Cluster Prime for study, I think Ill just have
you reduced to a cloud of sub-atomic particles.P Drone, you may fire when ready
Drew tried to get himself moving, but he needed another two
seconds two seconds that he wasnt going to get.P He watched an angry crimson glow build in the barrel of the giant
cannon P sigh, at least I gave it a
try then a blinding shaft of energy lit up the sky.
But it didnt come from the cannon.P A beam of energy screamed down from directly
overhead, glowing a brilliant blue.P It
slammed into the roof of the van, ripping it to pieces in a spectacular
explosion.P The colossal blast hurled
Vexus against the windshield of another news truck, shattering it with the
impact of her body.P She rubbed her head
and looked upwards
And groaned in frustration as a blue-and-white robot girl
drifted slowly down to Earth, balanced on twin plumes of exhaust from her
Jenny was home.
After defeating the Cluster in Sydney, and flying halfway
around the world in record time, Jenny was back home.P She descended to hover just a few yards away from Vexus, with a
furious scowl on her face.P She
retracted her wings and boosters, and stared right through the Cluster queen
with a look that could kill.P Her body
was still sizzling with scorch marks and wisps of smoke, both from her aerial
battle in Australia and her super-fast flight back home; it complimented the
anger that flowed from her at the moment.
I hope your insurance was paid up on your van, she
snarled.P And on your starship, too.
YES! shouted Drew, with a look of exhausted relief on his
face.P He labored his way to his feet
while his body repaired itself, warbling like silver jello.P Jenny, are you ever a sight for sore
Vexus silently floated a few feet into the air, hovering
above the smoldering wreckage that used to be her news van.P The narrow slits of her eyes hinted at the
venom that boiled behind her calm, civilized mask.P Always a pleasure to see you, Jennifer, she said in an icy
voice.P Although I wasnt expecting you
for a few more minutes yet.P Dont you
realize that its impolite to show up early?
Jenny didnt answer.P
Instead, she deployed a laser-limb from her right arm, and pointed it
directly at Vexus chest.P Ill give
you just one chance, she said, her voice audibly shaking.P Tell me where my mother is, NOW!
Her mind ever-calculating, Vexus smiled with an arrogant
sneer.P My, my concerned for the
little long-haired lab rat, are we?P
Well, if I may use the vernacular, it does seem that you have the drop
on me.P I suppose I have no choice but
to show you where she is.
Drew had finished repairing himself, and was watching the
drama unfold as he tried to recover his bearings, and rebuild his energy.P Something about Vexus attitude seemed
wrong, for someone who was about to get her butt kicked.P She was waving her hands in an overdramatic
Your sniveling little scientist is over there, she purred,
gesturing off to her left.P In Jennys
emotional state, she turned to look, taking her eyes off of Vexus who slowly
raised her right hand, and exposed her palm, which was loaded with a tiny black
Oh, heck.P As
if by instinct, Drews right arm instantly shimmered into silvery fluid.P He whirled it over his head, and snapped it
at the Cluster queen like a whip.
Vexus grinned, took aim at Jennys blue torso, and Snap!P Schwick!
She gasped in surprise, and Jenny turned back in time to see
Vexus right hand, sizzling with sparks of electricity, cut through with a
perfect slice.P Then with a tiny pop,
the hand fell off, and clattered down to the sidewalk, with its long, spidery
fingers twitching in random spasms.
The Cluster queen glared at the pathetic silver-green
android, with searing hatred in her eyes.P
How dare you strike at the leader of the Cluster Empire!P You puny, insignificant ball of
sludge!P She raised her remaining hand
in a fist, and her antennae glowed with arcs of violet energy
But she was interrupted by a blast from Jennys laser-limb,
streaking through the air mere inches from her face. PQuickly recovering her cool, Vexus gracefully swooped backward,
dodged a few more of Jennys laser beams, and spiraled high into the air.P Demonic claws extended from her left hand,
and with a powerful swipe, she tore a hole in the very fabric of space itself,
creating a dimensional portal.
Well, Jenny, it looks like my visit is over for today, she
said, in her calm, ever-arrogant voice.P
But dont worry; Ill be back, to help you see the error of your
ways.P You will be hearing from the
Cluster again soon, my dear.
Vexus shifted her gaze towards Drew, and her tone darkened
considerably.P And as for you you abhorrent
atrocity oh,P I guarantee that youll
be hearing from the Cluster again, too.P Then she swooped into the madly dancing kaleidoscope of colors in
the dimensional rift and the portal sealed up with a flash, leaving no trace
that it ever existed in the first place.
Jenny simmered with frustration she got away again
but Vexus would have to wait for another day.P There were graver concerns right now.P She dropped to the ground and ran over to her android friend,
oblivious to the destruction surrounding them, and grabbed him by the
shoulders.P Drew!P Oh my gosh, Drew, all you all right?!?
He glanced down as the last of the silvery ripples flowed
down his arms to his fingers, and quickly examined his body.P Yeah hey, believe it or not, yeah, I I
think I actually am.P But
man-oh-man, am I ever glad to see you, Jen.P
I am in over my head big-time, here.P Youve gotta destroy the rest of these whack-job Cluster robots
Jenny quickly looked around, a bit puzzled.P What Cluster robots?
Whaddaya mean, what Cluster robots?!?P Were surrounded by P Then he looked around them, and stared,
stunned, with his jaw hanging half-open. PHoly schnikey.
The front yard of the Wakeman house was littered with
wheezing husks of demolished Cluster roach-drones.P Scrap metal, broken gears, springs, pistons, pumps and power
cells the Cluster army had been reduced to a robotic junkyard.P Here and there, between hissing
short-circuits and thin wisps of smoke, a thin robotic claw waved in the air,
or a leg flexed weakly with the sound of failing motors.P Mashed SWAT droids and Cluster drones were
scattered in the street, twitching pathetically in a futile attempt to simply
stand up.P Half-devoured drone shells
lay motionless against a pair of overturned white vans, with their insides
dissolving into a fine gray ash, and a look of sheer terror frozen on their
Jenny shook him by the shoulders.P Drew, my mom.P
Wheres my mom?!?
He was still in a state of semi-shock.P Uh shes still uh shes still in the
house, I think.
She barely recognized her own house, with the gaudy steel
plating deployed, covered with huge black scorch marks.P It looked like it had been in a war
zone.P Smoking craters and pools of oil
covered the lawn.P Gouges had been cut
out of the walls and windows.P Dark gray
smoke drifted into the air from some unseen location inside.P Fear took hold of her, and she sprinted for
the front door.
And all of the sudden, standing in the middle of the
battles aftermath, Drew was all alone.P
An eerie calm settled over the scene, and he casually walked across the
yard, looking over the Cluster wreckage as he went.P There were heaps of shredded drone bodies, severed antennae, arms
and legs ripped off and piled on top of decapitated heads some with eyes
still moving, watching him nervously.P
The Cluster forces had been thoroughly and completely annihilated.
Drew folded his arms, and a small, dopey smile crept onto
his face.P Well, how about that.
The first thing she saw after ripping the thick steel door
off its hinges was Brad and Tuck, grinning like a pair of hyenas.P Tuck ran up and jumped into her arms.P Boy are we ever glad to see you!P It took you long enough to get here you
missed all the excitement!P There was a
gi-normous Cluster robot army, right out on the front yard!P And the police robots were here and and
Vexus was here too!P And and there
were lasers and pchoom!P pchoom!P The little fellow was on the verge of
I know, Tuck, I know, she laughed.P She grabbed Brad by the hand, squeezing it
as tightly as she dared to with her robotic strength.P Thank goodness you guys are all right.P But Brad, wheres my mom?P
Drew said she was in here why isnt she at the hospital?
Why would I be at the hospital? Mrs. Wakeman asked.
She looked more tired and disheveled than usual, with smoke
stains and scorch marks covering her yellow lab coat.P The doctor pushed her long white hair out of her face, and braced
herself against her still-smoldering work desk.P Well, dont just stand there, XJ-9.P We need to assess the damage to the house and the lab, and begin
Mrs. Wakeman didnt get a chance to finish her
sentence.P A blue-and-white blur slammed
into her, lifting her into a crushing robotic hug.P Then Jenny dropped down to her knees, and set her bewildered mother
back on her feet, gasping for breath.
Mom!P Mom, youre
alive!P I was so worried oh no, right,
your chest!P Just relax and dont move
Ill call the hospital and let them know youre on the way!P She spun one of her pigtails into a
parabolic dish, and started to make a phone call
XJ-9, what in blazes is the matter with you?!?P The doctor was genuinely baffled.P I do not need to go to the hospital.P Granted, I must appear somewhat nicked up
right now, but Ive sustained worse injuries before just by cooking
dinner.P Are your sensors
B-But Jennys mind was swimming in confusion, her
emotions a frenzied jumble of joy, and relief, and happiness, mixed with the
grief and terror of her last ten minutes.P
M-Mom, I saw you on the TV.P I
saw you get shot by a Cluster drone.
Shot?!?P On the
television, you say?P Oh my, then a news
camera must have oh, no, what you must have seen P The doctor gasped, suddenly realizing the reason for the grief in
I I thought you were dead.P Jennys voice choked up; she could finally
say it now, knowing that her mom was actually safe.P She collapsed into her mothers arms, squeezing her in a firm,
yet gentle embrace, and her shoulders started to shake.P I th-thought I had lost you.
Mrs. Wakeman actually seemed a bit stunned, and awkwardly
wrestled her arms free to pat her creation on the shoulders, trying to calm her
down.P Heightened emotional states like
this were tough on XJ-9s electronics, and placed heavy loads on her cooling
loops.P There, there, XJ-9
everythings fine now.P Youve saved the
day again, just like I knew you would.
Those things I said to you this morning such horrible
things Mom, Im so sorry
The doctor winced at the memory.P Well things did get a bit heated, but thats all P She didnt finish the thought.P Mrs. Wakeman was distracted by an odd warmth
against her cheeks.P She touched a
finger to her face, and felt a moist fluid then she realized it was coming
from XJ-9s tear reservoirs.P The girl
did tend to get over-emotional, but the doctor sensed something different in
her this time.P Shed just been through
a horrific, traumatic experience.P The
doctors cold, clinical exterior started to melt away, as her robotic creation
no, her daughter buried her head into her shoulder.P Then Jenny turned her face ever so slightly,
kissed the doctor on the cheek, and whispered
I love you, Mommy.
Mrs. Wakeman stared blankly into space, amazed at the words
shed just heard.P Then the room got
blurry, and she realized that hot, salty tears were pooling up in her own eyes as
well.P She reached up to remove her
glasses, and wiped her face against her sleeve.P Nora Wakeman cradled her daughters head in her hands, pressed
her thin lips against her metal cheek, and whispered back
Oh, I love you too, Jenny.
CONCLUDED in Chapter