My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Crashdance Chapter 2
Crashdance
A “My Life as a Teenage Robot” Fanfic
Chapter Two Baby Got Back
Mrs. Wakeman wrung her hands with worry, and paced back and forth in her laboratory. She’d been waiting all Saturday morning for a telephone call from the university. “What could possibly be taking so long?” she finally blurted out loud. “The awards committee was supposed to give me a call forty-five minutes ago!” If she called them herself, she’d appear over-anxious, but the suspense was killing her. She picked up the handset
And heard a nonstop stream of blather pouring out of the earpiece. Her daughter was still talking on the phone, an hour after she’d been instructed to get off of it. Mrs. Wakeman pulled at her long, white hair. “XJ-9!” she barked into the phone.
She heard a loud, disgusted sigh. “Mo-o-ommm! I’m using the phone! Can I get a little privacy here?”
“You’ve been on the phone all morning, young lady!” grumbled Mrs. Wakeman.
“Hang up, Mom. I’ll be finished in ten minutes.”
“That’s what you said two hours ago!”
“Hang up, Mother.”
She slammed the handset back down on her desk, grinding her teeth in anger and frustration. Then she tried the phone on the second line.
“Using this one too,” said her daughter’s voice.
“That does it!” shouted Mrs. Wakeman. She marched out of her laboratory and stormed up the stairs, muttering to herself. “When the subject matter is impending global catastrophe, that girl cannot be bothered to talk for more than ten seconds but ask for her opinion on the most nonsensical twaddle, and she will prattle on for hours and hours!”
She pounded on her daughter’s bedroom door, tapping her foot impatiently. After another thirty seconds with no response, she flung the door open, walked in, and planted her fists on her hips.
Jenny was lying on top of her bed, sprawled upside-down, with her head dangling over the edge of her mattress. She was blissfully gabbing away into a headset microphone that she’d deployed from her head. A cable ran from a slot in her chest, across the floor, and plugged into the telephone jack in the wall. She looped the cable around her finger, playing with it while she talked.
” I can’t believe that Elizabeth actually said that about Pteresa. Because I heard that she said the total opposite to Shannon just the other day in English class! She is such a little suck-up I know! I mean, can you believe she had the nerve to pretend she didn’t know about Jason and Sandy splitting up? Like she hasn’t been trying to move on Jason since forever “
Suddenly her mother’s frowning, upside-down face loomed over top of her. “I hate to terminate this scintillating conversation, but you have until the count of ten to get off that phone. Or else ” She held up a pair of wire cutters.
Jenny rolled her eyes, and sat up on the bed, scowling at her mother. “Sigh sorry about the incredibly rude interruption. Looks like I have to go. Okay, thanks again. See you later tonight!” The headset retracted, and the phone cable reeled back into her chest. “There! I can’t believe you, Mom! That was a really important call!”
“And so was the call before that, and the one before that!” Mrs. Wakeman folded her arms, with a stern expression. “And just what, pray tell, is so very important that you need to tie up every communications circuit in this house for twelve hours straight?”
“The big school dance is tonight,” Jenny said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I told you about it yesterday! Don’t tell me you forgot. You promised me I could go!”
“Don’t overstress your gauges, XJ-9, I haven’t forgotten.” Her mother groaned in frustration. “All this fuss over an evening of adolescent, teeny-bopping tomfoolery! Not exactly what I had in mind when I decided to build a state-of-the-art crime-fighting robot. Er what on earth does any of that have to do with the telephone?”
“Well, I have to find out all the latest dish like who’s going to the dance with who, what they’re going to be wearing you know, standard stuff.” Jenny snapped her fingers. “Oh, right! And I’m trying to find somebody for Drew to go with.”
“Your friend Andrew? Needs somebody to ‘go with’? He requires transportation?”
“Motherrrr he needs somebody to take to the dance. You know, a date.” Jenny sighed. “I’ve called everybody from Annabelle Atkinson to Zelda Zynquist with absolutely no luck. Everyone’s either already got a date, or ” she frowned, and made “quote marks” with her fingers “‘wouldn’t come within ten feet of that gooey silver freak’. I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
Mrs. Wakeman drummed her fingers against her arm. “XJ-9, while I suppose it is nice that you are concerned for your friend I barely have the patience to put up with the social misadventures of one teenage robot. Now, I need you to stay off of the telephone. I am expecting a very important call from the university.” She rubbed her hands excitedly. “My breakthrough paper on Martian mold spores is up for an award, and it’s the odds-on favorite to win this year!”
“Mold spores oh yeah, that’s much more important.” She waved her arms to make her point. “If Drew keeps to himself and never leaves his house, who knows what could happen? He might go through high school and college without any friends. He could turn into one of those freaky long-haired weirdo loners living all by themselves in some creepy old house, who never goes out, or never does anything fun, but just stays inside and tinkers around with “
Mrs. Wakeman’s eyes narrowed to a nasty squint. “Hmmm long-haired weirdo loner, eh?”
Jenny gulped nervously, and gave her mother a huge, sweet smile. “Ah, heh-heh of course, I didn’t mean that you “
“Never mind, XJ-9. Now, I have work to do downstairs. Do try to get something meaningful accomplished this afternoon. Perhaps you could put all of this high-tech communications gear to good use monitoring for trouble, instead of running a dating service for robots.” She shuffled back toward the hallway, and gave Jenny one last scolding look. “And stay off the phone!”
Jenny folded her arms with a huff then a huge smile popped on her face.
“Dating service for robots!” If I can’t find Drew a human date, then “Mom, you’re a genius!”
“Well, thank you dear, I ” Mrs. Wakeman was a bit flustered then she grew suspicious. But she’d already had enough verbal wrestling with her daughter for one afternoon. She closed the door and slowly shook her head as she walked back downstairs.
Jenny bounced on her bed with excitement. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of this last night?!? This is going to be the most fun ever!” Her headset deployed once more, and she plugged herself back into the telephone jack.
“Hello, Brad? It’s Jenny. Listen, you need to go over to Drew’s house this afternoon and convince him to come to school tonight what do you mean? Of course I found him a date! He’s going to be so surprised. I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”
The delivery truck pulled up to the curb outside the Lee house. The driver rummaged around in the back, and stumbled out with three large packages balanced in his arms. He trudged his way to the front door with a clipboard in his teeth, and managed to ring the doorbell with his knee. A short, dark-haired woman answered the door.
“I have a delivery here for Sheldon Lee?”
“Oh, I think Sheldon is playing out in the garage,” she said in a sweet, nasally voice.
The driver thanked her and wobbled his way towards the driveway. The garage door was open, and there didn’t seem to be any vehicles parked inside, but the delivery man could hear loud noises power drills, pneumatic wrenches, and the loud clang of a hammer beating against metal. Stranger still, a bright flickering light was emanating from the garage, flashing like a strobe lamp.
The delivery man grew a bit apprehensive, and nervously peeked into the garage. An intricate set of chemical beakers and flasks was bubbling away, filling the garage with a rolling white vapor. Heavy equipment lined the walls, humming with high electricity, all hooked up to long, snaking power cables that connected to a metal table in the middle of the garage floor.
A short, gangly teenager dressed in a white laboratory smock stood next to the table, wearing a doctor’s cap, dark goggles, and heavy rubber gloves. He held two large alligator clamps in his hands, each crackling with energy, and hovered over a metallic figure on the table, covered with a white sheet.
With a pimpled grin, he attached the alligator clamps to a pair of probes on the table, and jumped back as a huge electrical arc surged into the metallic figure. Intense bolts of electricity danced around the table, filling the garage with an otherworldly light. An aura of crackling energy built up around the sheet-covered figure, and suddenly, slowly, something under the sheet started to move
The lab-coated teen flung his gloved hands into the air as the electricity illuminated his face with an eerie glow. “IT’S ALIVE! IT’S ALIVE!!!”
Then he finally noticed the shivering delivery guy, who was scared out of his wits.
Sheldon pulled the goggles off of his face. “Heh, heh ahhh just set those down anywhere.”
Saturday night had finally come, and the high school had been transformed into a beehive of activity. Cars filled the parking lot, and excited teenagers started to make their way inside. The muffled sound of a pounding beat reverberated from the walls of the gym, and whenever the double doors swung open, snippets of loud techno music escaped into the night air.
Brad couldn’t help but get a rhythm in his step as he got closer to the front doors of the gym. “Wow! It sounds like they finally got a decent sound system going for this dance! I just hope the DJ is better than the guy they had last time. He kept playing all that disco stuff my great-great-grandfather listened to!”
Drew chuckled, as he watched the crowd of students building near the door. “Well, looks like you were right, Brad everybody’s here tonight. Okay, let’s pop in and get this done before the gym gets too crowded.”
“Get what done?” asked Brad, absent-mindedly.
“What do you mean, ‘get what done’? Plug the cables back into the ceiling spotlights. The sooner I zip up to the ceiling and check the spotlights, the sooner I get back home to my Kung Fu movie marathon.”
“Oh, riiiiight!” said Brad, snapping his fingers. “The spotlights! Yeah, Drew, about that there’s, eh, there’s nothing wrong with the spotlights.”
“Heh?” Drew felt a little baffled, and Brad had a guilty look on his face “Why’d you drag me down here to climb up to the ceiling? Hey, is something wrong with the disco ball? Oh, sure, let’s get the freaky silver guy to sub for the disco ball. Look, I am not going to hang from the rafters all night.”
“Chill out! Nobody’s climbing to the ceiling!” Brad laughed, enjoying the look of confusion on Drew’s face. “But, I wouldn’t plan on seeing any of those Kung Fu movies tonight if I were you.”
Drew couldn’t figure out what that meant why was Brad grinning? “Okay, pal. Start talking.”
“Well, Jenny wants it to be a surprise, but I suppose you’re going to find out in a few minutes anyway.” Brad gave Drew a sympathetic pat on the back. “Jenny felt bad about you not going to the dance tonight, so she called a whole bunch of the girls from school to see if she could find you a date.”
A stony silence hung in the air for a few seconds. “She what?!?“
“Look, I tried to put the brakes on the idea, but you know Jenny. Once she gets her electronic mind set on something anyway, she’s going to be here in a few minutes, and she’s bringing a friend with her.”
“She’s bringing me a blind date!?!?” Drew slapped his forehead, in agony. “Gaaah, not just a blind date. A blind pity date!!! Oh wow, from zero to ten on the pathetic scale, a blind pity date is “
Brad cut him off. ” is exactly one more date than you’ve had in the past six months.”
Drew winced like he’d just been punched in the gut. “Dude that was cold.” Then he sighed. “Cold and accurate. All right, point taken.”
Brad tried to put him at ease. “Look, Drew, you know Jenny’s only trying to help you out here. All you gotta do is relax and enjoy yourself. No pressure! Hey, you never know what might happen. She might be a really nice girl! Maybe she’ll be a stone cold fox.”
“Oh, crap. Maybe she’ll scream in terror when she sees that she’s been set up with a six-foot jello mold.” Drew’s body shimmered silver-green from head to toe, and he changed form, back to his old human appearance. “Oh, crap! I put myself in my old baseball shirt and jeans! I can’t wear this! Dang it, Brad, I haven’t worn clothes in months. What would you call dressy casual?”
“Look at you, you’re as bad as Jenny,” Brad laughed. “Just switch yourself back to normal. Jenny told me that your date knows you’re a robot, and she’s cool with it.”
With a quick gurgling schlorrrp, Drew reverted to his gray and green-striped android self. He arched a suspicious eyebrow. “She knows I’m a robot? And she’s coming anyway? Brad just who is this girl?”
Brad shrugged. “Honestly, I’ve got no idea.”
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
Drew cocked his head suddenly. “Did you hear that?”
There was a buzz among the students milling around the outside of the gym, then they abruptly fell silent. In the background, Brad could hear a low, rumbling sound, growing closer and closer. He felt a vibration in the ground, and looked down to see pebbles bouncing on the sidewalk, in sync with the rumbles.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
Circular ripples spread across a small puddle of water on the sidewalk. Earthquake? Drew felt the vibrations coming closer, from behind his back, but he didn’t turn to look. He was fixed on the morbid expression spreading across Brad’s face which was growing paler by the second. Oh, man. Those aren’t earthquake tremors. Those are footsteps.
Thud. Thud.
“Hi Brad! Hey, Drew!” Jenny was in high spirits. “Wow, it sure is a great night for the dance!”
Brad gulped weakly, and slowly lifted his hand to give her a little wave. “H-hey there, Jen. Ah great to see you. Look, Drew it’s Jenny!” He swallowed hard, and forced a huge, phony smile. A bead of sweat ran down his forehead. “And her friend I was telling you about.”
Drew was almost terrified by this point. He glanced back and forth and every pair of eyes was pointed in his direction, as the students gasped, pointed, and snickered. He summoned up his courage, put a big smile on his face, and turned around. “How’s it going, Jen “
His eyes were staring at a pair of blue bolts set in a wide robotic torso. Drew’s head slowly tilted up, and up, past a broad blue chest plate that looked sturdier than a tank turret. Massive, powerful arms hung by the robot’s side, ending in fists that looked like they could crush an automobile. Immense legs and feet left a trail of cracks in the sidewalk. Two eye slits glared down at him from a wide, rounded head, just below two tiny pigtails which stuck into the air about nine feet off the ground.
Jenny had her arms wrapped around one of the giant robot’s hands, beaming with impish excitement. “I’m really glad you could make it out tonight, Drew. And there’s somebody I want you to meet! It’s her first dance too, and she’s really been looking forward to it.”
She gave the massive robot a hug. “Say hello to my little sister XJ-8!”
Continued in Chapter Three