My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Crashdance – Chapter 5

Crashdance

A My Life as a
Teenage Robot Fanfic

Chapter Five
Saturday Nights All Right For Fighting

The thumping beat in the gymnasium picked up a bit, as the
DJ cranked up the next techno song.P
Most of the students were into full dance mode by now, jumping and
swaying at a frenetic pace.P But the
Wakeman girls were off to the side, taking a quick rest.P At least, thats what Jenny told her little
sister, XJ-8.P The truth of it was, she
wanted to get her away from the laughter of the mob cold, hurtful laughter
that shed experienced too many times herself.

Large eyes glowed down at Jenny, looking both powerful and
innocent at the same time.P Question:
do humans normally include weight information in their names?

Im not sure what you mean, XJ-8, Jenny answered, holding
onto a giant finger.

Several students have addressed me tonight as Two-ton
Tina, which is both incorrect, and an underestimation of my resting mass

Never mind that, sis, Jenny frowned, eager to change the
subject to a happier topic.P The only
thing thats important is that youre having a good time!P So tell me how your date with Drew is
going!P What do you think of him so
far?

He is a very nervous individual, XJ-8 droned, and he has
a remarkable ability to recover from massive structural damage.P Why has Drew-for-short not flown back to the
social interaction area?

Oh, well, thats because he cant fly uh-oh.PP Jenny grimaced with sudden worry.P Um, why dont you just stay here, and Ill
go see if I can find him?P Be right
back!P She took a few casual steps,
trying to look calm, then broke into a run, hoping that Drew was still
somewhere in Tremorton county.

Drew staggered through the double doors, ignoring the cries
from short blonde girl who insisted that he show her his hand stamp before
re-entering the gym.P He simply didnt
care anymore.P All he could think about
was getting out of there, and back to his safe, comfortable couch in the living
room.P Look, guys, I gave it a try, I
stayed for half the dance its not you, its me.P Ive got a headache.P
Yeah, thats it, Ive got a headache in every cubic inch of my body.

He didnt take five steps inside before Brad ran up to him
with a look of relief on his face.P
Man, what happened?P I was just
heading outside to start looking for you.P
You kind of disappeared at the end of that last dance.P Where did you go?

I took a little sub-orbital pleasure trip, groaned
Drew.P Anyway, Im glad I found
you.P I just came back to say so
long.P Hasta la bye-bye.P No mas.P Im packing it in.P I wave
the white flag of surrender.

Pffft.P Come
on, youre overreacting, chuckled Brad.P
Okay, sure things may have gone a little rough so far.P But thats to be expected!P Remember, its XJ-8s first night out with a
guy.P Shes probably just a little
nervous around you, Tiger.

Drew frowned, unimpressed.P
Sure.P Yup, when I get nervous,
I like to grab the first person I see and hurl them into the stratosphere like
a cannon shell.P Its a coping
mechanism.

Brad folded his arms.P
All right, seriously, lose the sarcasm.P You know she didnt mean to do that.P Okay, so shes not much for dancing.P Just talk to her, or something.P
Be creative.P Its only another
couple of hours.P Do it as a favor to
me.P And Jenny.

And Jenny.P
His silver-green shoulders slumped.P
Geez, Brad twist the knife a few more times, why dont
you?P Sigh all right, all
right, Ill try to stick it out for the rest of the night.P Provided I live that long.P Brother.

Will you stop exaggerating? PLook, youre not in too bad a shape here.P Er, except for that deal on your
shoulder.P Whats up with that?P It looks like some kind of tread mark.

Drew checked it out, and moaned.P Oh, that would explain the snickering behind me.P Yes, that would be a tire track,
amigo.P A wave of silver-green swept
over his back, and the track started to fade away.P As in the kind of tire you might find on Don Primas car, which
just ran over me in the parking lot, after my little swan dive from three
thousand feet.

Yeesh, winced Brad.

Ohhhh yes thank goodness Im not at home right now, on
that comfy sofa watching the big-screen TV in my living room.P Luckily, Im here at a stupid school dance
becoming even more of a laughingstock than I was before if thats even
possible!P Yes, who in their right mind
would want to relax at home and watch movies in surround sound, when I can go
to school on a Saturday night and get run over by a two-ton metal
contraption!?!?

My s-sister is not a contraption, squeaked a soft,
shaking voice.

Drew had been so busy complaining, and Brad had been so busy
trying to calm him down, that neither of them had noticed her approach.P Jenny! Drew said, horrified.P How long had she been standing there?!?P Oh no no, Jenny, thats not what I meant

Jenny cupped her hand to her quivering metal lips, with a
destroyed expression on her face.P I
might expect the other kids to say things like that, but but I never
thought that you guys P She turned
and ran blindly, feeling betrayed, fighting to hold back the tears.

Jenny!P Brad
shouted after her.P He paused just long
enough to glare furiously at Drew.P
Smooth, pal.P Really
smooth.P Then he took off into the
crowd, trying to track down his distraught friend.

But I wasnt I didnt I wasnt talking about
your sister! Drew said, into thin air.P
He was left standing alone, wondering just how he had managed to ruin
the evening for everybody so quickly.P Once
again, the universe decides to use me the way a dog uses a fire hydrant.P He dropped his face in his hands, disgusted
with the evening and with himself.

Sheldon left Helena alone for a few minutes, to cool down
and recover from his one-man dancing spectacular.P Shed wanted to accompany him, of course, and it had been difficult
to explain that there was simply no way she was getting into the boys
restroom.P He tugged at his trendy
clothes, trying to air them out.P I
know the magazine said these were cool, but I cant see why!P A sweatshirt is so much more
comfortable.P And it has pockets for
your mini-computer and your calculator!P
Fashion just makes no sense at all.P
He rinsed the sweat from his face, ran his hands through his hair,
and made his way back into the gymnasium.

Just in time to get his biggest break of the night.P For Jenny was all alone, and running right
towards him.P Sheldon fought back the
wave of nervous giddiness that always came over him whenever his lady fair
approached, and quickly huffed into his hand to check his breath.P Okay, Sheldon Lee cool and confident
play it smooth youre the man.P
But something didnt seem quite right.P
Jenny was sobbing.

Jenny?P Jenny,
whats wrong? he asked, with genuine concern.

Sh-Sheldon?P Oh
its nothing, she said, very unconvincingly.P
She wiped at the corners of her eyes.P
Its just something s-stupid I need to deal with myself.P I dont want to ruin your evening with your
beautiful new girlfriend.

Oh, Jenny, you could never do that, he said, trying to
soothe her.P No matter how many
beautiful supermodels Im dating, Ill always have time for you.P He reached into his pocket and pulled out a
wad of tissues.P Here, take these.P If you dont dry your face off, youll get
rust stains, and that can wreak havoc on a pair of beautiful metal cheeks like
yours!

Jenny dried her eyes, half-sniffling, half-chuckling at
Sheldons goofy version of chivalry.P
Thanks, Sheldon thats so sweet.P
Its good to know that Ive still got one friend here
tonight.P Then her shoulders started to
shake, and suddenly she flung her arms around Sheldons neck, bawling her eyes
out.P She was more upset than shed
realized, and she needed a good cry right now.

Sheldon couldnt believe it; his lady love had him wrapped
up in a passionate embrace.P He couldnt
keep up the faade of coolness any longer; his face twisted into a grin that
nearly came up to his eyebrows, and he blushed beet-red from ear to ear.P He finally willed his arms to move, and
gently patted Jenny on the back.P Shes
in my arms!P Finally, yes!P Victory is mine!P Thank you, Dr. Macho, wherever you are!

Helena stood ramrod-straight, right where her beloved
Sheldon had instructed her to remain until he got back from the restroom.P Her head slowly oscillated left and right,
like a radar dish, waiting for her man to reappear so she could resume
smothering him with affection.P She was
barely paying attention to the tall bond male next to her, who just wouldnt
stop talking.

So I couldnt help but notice you, in that sexy little
number, babe, blathered Don, leering at her with seducing eyes.P Thats a pretty shade of red.P Its almost the same color as the red on my
new car.P Tell you what why dont we
head outside and see if it matches.

I am waiting for my Sheldon to return.

Don, you said you were going to dance with me on the next
song, pouted Dons date.

In a minute babe.P
He turned back to Helena.P Did I
just hear you right?P Youre here with
that pizza-faced loser Sheldon?P Babe,
this is your lucky day.P Im here to
give you a free upgrade from Economy to Don Class.

Helena glanced at Don with fire in her eyes.P You shouldnt talk that way about my
Sheldy-weldy.P Hes handsome, and
wonderful, and charming, and and P
Suddenly she fell quiet, and a few stunned squeaks dribbled out of her
mouth.P She stared right past Don, as if
he wasnt there, at a sight that filled her microchip brain with dread.

There, over next to the restrooms, was Sheldon her
Sheldon in the arms of another girl.P
That other robot girl hed been yammering about all night.P Jenny.

Error error, that is n-n-not acceptable, babbled
Helena.P Her eyes started to glow an
intense red, and she developed a nervous tic that spooked Don into taking a few
steps backwards.P Incorrect
p-p-parameters!P Error!P Sheldon belongs to me, and I b-b-belong to
Sheldon!P Jenny does not fit in the
equation.P J-J-Jenny must be
removed!P Deleted!

Helena marched off in a fury, straight across the dance
floor, barreling through stunned students like a runaway locomotive.P A casual swing of her smooth, toned arms was
all it took to send dancers tumbling left and right.P She was growling like an animal as she drew closer to Jenny and
Sheldon, her hands balled into a pair of shaking fists.

Get away from my Sh-Sh-Sheldon, you robotic hussy! she snarled.

Jenny snapped upright, startled by the tone of the voice,
and gasped as she saw Helena baring her teeth at her.P Then she realized that her hands were still clasped behind
Sheldons neck.P Oh no no, Helena,
this isnt what it looks like!P Sheldon
was just being nice enough to

YEARRRGHH!!!P
Helena pulled back a fist, and let it fly at Jennys face.P Even with her super robot reflexes, she
surprised her so much that she barely dodged the blow.P Helena sprawled forward clumsily and blasted
her arm through the wall of the gym, making a two-foot hole in the plaster.

Helena!P STOP!
shouted Sheldon, clutching at his hair.P
What do you think youre doing?!?

Jenny took a step backwards, trying to sound
reasonable.P Look, if you just stop
long enough to listen to me, we can straighten this whole thing out!P Im not going to steal

Darn right youre not Click! Bzzzt! you little tramp!P Sheldon is m-m-m-MINE!

Helena shot an arm out and grabbed Jenny by the wrist.P To everyones amazement, she pulled her off
her feet and started swinging her around like a helicopter blade.P Jennys eyes spun in their sockets, and she
tried to make sense of what was happening as the gym spun in circles around
her.P Helena finally released her,
turning Jenny into a speeding projectile that flew towards the other side of
the gym.P Students dove for the floor as
the blue-and-white robot girl whizzed over their heads.P She slammed into the gym wall, blasting
loose a silhouette in the plaster, and slowly sunk down to the floor.

Sheldon was beside himself.P
JENNY!P Oh, no I knew I needed
to spend more time debugging that software Helena, stop!P Emergency shutdown!

Helenas head spun around in a full circle, and she stared
at Sheldon with an eerie, surreal grin.P
Sheldon, you d-d-dont need her!P
You have me!P Forget about
her!P She shuddered, and a few
electrical sparks leapt from her head.P
Youll see, itll be easier to forget about her once shes been destroyed!!!

The beautiful Helena turned and sprinted towards Jenny,
eager to deliver another attack to the girl who had dared touch her true
love.P Jenny still wasnt exactly sure
of what was happening, but she was in no mood to put up with any more from
Sheldons jealous girlfriend.P She
sprang to her feet and assumed a defensive posture, hoping to slow Helena down
so that she could talk some sense into her.P
But Helena came at her with arms flailing wildly, and Jenny had to start
blocking kicks and punches.P She didnt
want to hurt her, but she was starting to lose her patience.

Knock it clang! off!P Youre acting like clang! a real psycho!

I dont know w-w-what my Sheldon sees in a s-s-scrawny
bimbo like you, anyway!

WHAT!?!P Did
that little just call me a bimbo?P
With a furious swing, Jenny slapped Helena across the face, sending her
reeling backwards a few steps.

Off to the side, a growing crowd of students watched and
cheered as the battle escalated.P Two
boys started chuckling and pumping their fists.P All right dude, check it out!P
Chick fight!P Ye-e-eah, now
we got a party going!

Helena recovered and grabbed at one of Jennys
pigtails.P But this time Jenny grabbed
Helenas wrist, using her own momentum to flip her into the air.P Helena was fighting so desperately, twisting
and thrashing ferociously, that Jenny was having a hard time just holding onto
her.P She lurched wildly, and with a
burst of strength, broke free from Jennys grasp but instead of simply
rolling off to one side, she slammed face-first into the floor.

Jenny gasped, afraid that the crazed girl had seriously
injured herself, because a human elbow simply shouldnt bend that way.P She slowly knelt down towards Helena, who
lay motionless on the floor.P
Helena?P Are are you alright?

Then she reeled back in horror as Helenas head snapped
around one-hundred-eighty degrees without any skin on it.P With the silicone ripped free, Helenas
smooth metal face gazed back at Jenny with garish inhumanity.P Her spherical eye-orbs wiggled with a
nervous frenzy in their recessed sockets.P
Bare wires and piston rods flexed and whined as her jaw moved.

Stay away from my Sheldy-poo! a crackling voice
hissed from Helenas mouth.

Helena flipped onto her back and swung her legs with a
mighty kick, launching Jenny twenty feet into the air.P She sprung to her feet, the skin ripped from
her elbows and shoulder, a few wires protruding from her neck.P Jenny plummeted into the floor like a
meteor, with a thundering crash.P Helena
leapt towards the ceiling, somersaulted, and descended towards Jennys body
with a scream, looking to deliver a vicious kick.

Jenny shook her vision clear just in time to see a red boot
streaking towards her face.P She
gracefully rolled away and flipped to her feet, fists in a martial arts
position.P By now the dance had come to
a halt, and the gym was filled with students scrambling out of the way, or
jockeying for the best viewing positions.P
Even though Helena whatever she was was fixated on Jenny, she was so
unstable that she might hurt the other kids.P
Gotta wrap this up fast

The faceless robot stumbled a few feet away, then turned to
face Jenny once more.P You two-bit
floozy, she screamed with a garbled voice.P
If I cant h-h-have Sheldon, then nobody can!P She suddenly turned towards Sheldon, eyes glowing,
and broke into a sprint

Oh no.P Jenny
ignited her pigtails and blasted towards Helena, catching her with a flying
tackle.P She carried her into the air,
fighting her wildly swinging hands.P
Helena actually managed to scratch Jennys arm with her robotic
fingers.P Thats it.P Girl youve got issues, Jenny chuckled
smugly, as she spun and hurtled her towards the gym floor.

Helena slammed into the floor like a rag doll, tumbling and
rolling out of control, directly towards XJ-8.P Jenny worried when it became obvious that Helena was going to hit
her little sister, who didnt seem to be paying very much attention to the
fight for some reason.

With a resounding crash, Helena slammed into XJ-8s leg,
coming to rest beside her.P Even now,
her wires and motors whined and pumped furiously, eager to lift her back on her
feet.P But XJ-8 had taken notice,
quickly assessed the situation, and decided that the most efficient course of
action was also the most direct.P
Twisting her massive frame slightly to put her weight on her elbow, XJ-8
simply fell on top of Helena with a reverberating thud,
delivering a finishing blow to the psychotic robot, crushing her into a huge
wafer of scrap metal.

Jenny flew down and landed next to her little sister,
smiling as she watched loose springs and gears slowly spinning around on the
gym floor.P XJ-8, you did it!P You stopped her!P The danger was over, and a roar rose up from the crowd

But it wasnt applause.P
It was laughter.P But
But why

Students were laughing at XJ-8, pointing at her and hurling
insults.P Godzilla is entering the
city!P Nice moves, Wide Load!P The winner, by body slam, Big Bertha!

Jenny watched her sisters face, mortified, as XJ-8
processed everything she heard and her eyes started to sadden, her
mouth-grill sinking into a pained frown.

Another group of girls, orbiting around Don Prima, started
laughing at the robot girls, tossing in a fresh set of attacks.P So this is your sister, Jenny?P Oh yeah, I recognize that characteristic
Wakeman grace.P Just like a falling
anvil.

Let me guess, Jenny you brought her along to make sure
you werent the biggest freak here tonight, right?

Don Prima himself looked XJ-8 up and down, sneering.P I dont quite understand.P Your mom built Shamu here out of, what an
old supertanker?P So are there like,
smaller robots inside, running this thing?

Normally, Jenny would have shriveled under an onslaught like
this but this was different.P They
were insulting her little sister.P Her
cheeks started to burn red with anger.P
By now, Jenny had learned to deal with verbal abuse at high school she
put up with it every day.P But it was
all new to her sister.P Come on, XJ-8,
she hissed, these morons arent worth our time.P XJ-8?

Jenny couldnt see her, but she could feel pounding
footsteps shaking the floor.P Then she
just caught a glimpse of deep blue pigtails, lumbering towards the exit.P Her little sister had just learned a hard lesson
about life as a robot in high school.P But
she wouldnt even be here if I hadnt dragged her here tonight.P She must be furious with me.P Drews mad at me.P Brads probably mad at me, too.P
And Sheldons probably mad that I ruined his date!P Her pigtails slumped low against her head,
and Jenny ran for the exit, riddled with grief and worry.

Continued in Chapter
Six