My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Crashdance Chapter 1

Obvious Disclaimer All of the characters in this story are
from the cartoon My Life as a Teenage Robot and are the exclusive property of
Nickelodeon, Frederator, Rob Renzetti, and probably a few other folks who
arent me.P My sole creation is the
character of Drew, a human high school student who was accidentally turned into
an android by Cluster nanotechnology.P
Its explained in my first story Android Scam.

As always, I want to thank everybody whos ever submitted a
review.P They are real treats to receive
in the ol Inbox, and they have been known to speed up the writing
process!P So here goes another story,
something a little lighter, a little fluffy (seems you folks like the fluffy)
and itll hopefully be shorter than my last one (30K words ack!)

CRASHDANCE

A My Life as a
Teenage Robot Fanfic

Chapter One Dance
Fever

Jenny hovered with her pigtail-jets, thirty feet above the
floor of the gymnasium, and gave a few last turns to the metal hook shed just
installed in a ceiling beam.P Not that
simple a task, considering that she was holding on to a heavy mirrored ball
with her left hand.P She hung the ball
from the ceiling and backed a few yards away, admiring her handiwork.

Check it out! she shouted.P How does it look from down there?P Her arms cracked open, and two large spotlights deployed from her
wrists, shining brightly onto the mirrored ball and filling the school gym with
thousands of lighted dots.

The head of the decorating committee took a break from
painting and glanced up with a smile and a wave.P Right where its supposed to be, Jenny!P Youre a life saver!

Jenny waved back, giggled at her bizarre reflection in the
surface of the mirrors, and balled her fists with excitement.P Certainly more excitement than youd expect
from a student staying after school on a Friday but this was different.P She was helping to get the gym ready for
Tremorton Highs first big school dance of the year and now it was only a day
away.P Actually, twenty-six hours,
fifteen minutes, and forty-two seconds away.P
Not that Im counting, or anything.P
Oh, who am I kidding?P I started
counting three weeks ago!

Jenny!P Brad waved
at her, standing on the top rung of a metal stepladder.P While youre up there, tell me if this
thing is hanging straight!P He was
nudging the corner of a fifteen-foot long banner, trying to decide if it was
level before hammering in the tacks.P Half
an inch to the left no, to the right

Drew looked up at Brad, starting to grow a little
impatient.P Four long, silver-green arms
stretched up from his body, each one pressing a corner of the banner flat
against the wall.P Hey Brad, sometime
before Christmas, okay?

Jenny floated down and inspected the sign.P A laser scope unfolded from the back of her
head, and a thin red beam flickered across the wall.P Your end has to go up a quarter-inch, Brad, she announced.P Ill take care of it in a jiffy!P She deployed a small hammer from her wrist
and zipped back and forth in a blur, like a hummingbird.P In a split second, the colorfully painted
banner was hanging over the entrance to the gym.P It looks great! she giggled.

Brad slid down the ladder to the floor, while Drew reeled in
his fifteen-foot long arms, absorbing the extra pair back into his body.P And with that, ladies and gentlemen, I
believe our work here is done.P Unless
Jenny wants to repaint the gym, he teased.P
And before you say yes I was kidding.

They grabbed their backpacks and headed outside.P Jenny was struggling to keep her feet on the
sidewalk.P Well, can you blame me for
being so excited?P Oh, I cant wait, I
cant wait!P My first school dance!P Brad, Ive been looking forward to this all
week.P Ive downloaded videos of all the
latest dance steps and checked the leading magazines to see which ones are the
most popular.P Ive been practicing
every night after crime-fighting!P She
spun around on her toes and struck a pose on the sidewalk.P I am ready to get my groove on!

Brad laughed and danced a few steps in place.P Just try and keep up with me.P You may be a robot but I am the
original dancin machine.P Were going
to have a blast together tomorrow night!P As long as your mom doesnt need to send you off on some
emergency

Shhhhh!P Jenny
waved her arms at him.P Dont jinx
it!P It was bad enough when she sent me
off in the middle of fourth period to go fight that giant mechanical
alligator.P Mr. Smelhaus almost gave me
detention.

Drew snapped his fingers.P
Smelhaus!P Oh, thats
right!P Jenny, he moved up the midterm
to Monday.P He announced it right after
you flew off.P Do you have a blank disc
on you?

Monday?!?P
Cripes, that was nice of him.P A
door in Jennys head flipped open, and a rack of data discs slid out.P She found a blank one and handed it over.

He held the disc against the side of his face.P There was a slight shimmer, and the disc
slid right into his head.P Ill make
you a copy of the class notes, and a video of the lecture.P And I already downloaded the extra readings
Ill slap them on there too.P Might
save you a little time tomorrow.

Hey, thanks for saving my butt, she grinned.P But Ill worry about studying on
Sunday.P Tomorrow I need to go to the
mall.P I have some serious
shopping to get done.P And I need to
swing by the auto parts store to get a fresh can of wax.P Brad, you need to tell me what youre going
to wear.P I could get some matching
pinstripes painted on at the detailers

Does this qualify as freaking out? Drew laughed.

Not quite yet, but shes getting close, Brad chuckled
back.P Jen, chill out!P You do know this isnt a formal,
right?

You know, Im really jealous of you, Drew, she continued
excitedly.P If I was made of nanobots,
I could just change my look every five minutes if I felt like it!P Wow, that would be a wardrobe dream come
true!P So how are you going for tomorrow
night?P Formal?P Casual?P
Kaleidoscopic?P Or are you going
to make us wait and see?

The data disc slid out of Drews head, and he handed it back
to Jenny.P Um Im not going, guys.

Not going? Brad said, surprised.P What do you mean?P Everyones
going to the dance.

Everyone but me, then.P
I mean, I havent been to a school dance since well,P Drew lifted his right leg, and with a quick schlorrp,
it morphed into a replica of his old artificial limb the one he wore when he
was still human.

I thought we were all going, said Jenny, pouting a
bit.P That way, I wasnt going to be
the only robot there.

Oh, pfft, thats not going to matter, Drew said
with a wave of his hand.P Look you
two dont need a third wheel dragging along behind you all night.

Third wheel?P You
mean you couldnt get a date? Brad blurted out, amazed.P Jenny gave him a jab in the ribs and a nasty
look.

Drew rolled his eyes sarcastically.P Yeah, amazing as it sounds, it seems that
girls are turned off by hideous blobs of alien metallic nano-pudding.P Whod have thunk it?P So its just another Saturday night in front
of the ol boob tube.P Got the movies
already picked out.P Guys dont worry
about it.P You have fun, and you can
tell me all about it on Monday.

Uh okay, then, said Brad.P See you Monday.

Jennys pigtails slumped a bit as she watched Drew walk
off.P She turned the disc of class notes
over and over in her hands.P Wow, I
cant believe that nobody wanted to go with Drew to the dance.P Hes good-looking, and funny, and a really
nice guy.

Oof! Brad winced, clutching at an imaginary harpoon in his
chest.P A really nice guy.P The phrase that strikes dread into the soul
of every male.P Use one of your laser
blasters on him, itd be quicker and more humane.

Im serious, Brad!P
You know, now that I think about it, I dont think Ive ever seen him
with anybody, or heard him talk about going out on a date

Look, I gotta be honest here, he sighed.P Remember how everyone looked at you and
called you a freak when you first started going to school?

You mean the way they still do? Jenny groaned.

Thats the way they look at Drew now.P I mean cmon, five minutes ago, he had four
wiggly tentacles sticking out of his chest.P
Brad waved his hands in the air, pantomiming an angry octopus.

Poor guy, she sighed.P
But he still shouldnt spend so much time alone.P Its not good for him.P And hell never become popular that way.P Hmmm.

Brad raised a suspicious eyebrow.P Hmmm?P What hmmm?

Jenny tapped her chin, and a scheming smile grew on her
face.P It wouldnt be hard for me to
download a copy of all the girls names and their phone numbers from the
student directory.P Im sure that I can
find somebody who would love to go to the dance with Drew.

Uh are you talking about setting him up on a blind
date?P Im not sure if thats really
such a good idea, he said, warily.P If
Drew doesnt want to go to the dance, then he must have his reasons.P You probably shouldnt meddle.

Meddle?P Whos
meddling?P This is helping, she
said, brushing aside his reservations.P
I wouldnt expect a guy to understand.P See, Drew wants our help.P
He practically asked us to help him find a date!

Huh?!?P Did
he say it in some ultra-high frequency voice that only dogs and robots can
hear?

No, silly.P See,
when he said dont worry about it he was really hoping that we would
worry about it.P You have to learn to
read between the lines.

Brad blinked his eyes a few times.P Suuuure that makes perfect sense.P O-kaaay.P And on that
note, I think its time to get going.P
Im headed to the mall to hang for a few hours.P Wanna come?

Cant Ive got to get home and start making phone
calls.P Jenny was more excited than
ever.P She was still looking forward to
going with Brad to the dance tomorrow night, of course.P But shed never had a chance to play
matchmaker before.P And best of all,
Drew wouldnt know a thing about it!P What
a great surprise this is going to be!P
She rubbed her hands together, eager to get home and start her little
project as a stealth Cupid.

Sheldon slipped into a dreamy gaze from his hiding spot
behind the lamppost.P With every move of
her servos, she strolled closer, like a ballerina gliding across a stage.P With every toss of her head, the fading
afternoon sun reflected off of her metallic pigtails, surrounding her glorious
face with a glowing aura like a heavenly angel.P She looked even more lovely than usual today but then again
she always looked more lovely every time he saw her.

Then he shook himself back to awareness.P There would be time for dreaming later now
was the time for action!P He grabbed a
notepad from his pocket and started jotting some quick notes down.P Estimated range to target average
robotic walking speed Jenny should be in front of the coffee shop in
approximately twenty-seven point four seconds!P
Time to initiate Operation Sophistication.

Sheldon ran back to his table in front of Coffee By Alex,
where hed been sitting for the past hour.P
He gathered up his backpack, a heavy hardcover book, an extra-large
mocha double espresso, and watched the second hand of his watch.P Ten seconds five seconds Go! Go! Go!

He got out of his chair, turned to the right, and took two
steps, his head buried in the middle of Crime and Punishment.P His calculations had been perfect, and Jenny
ran right into him a little harder than expected.P She hadnt been paying attention to where she was going either.P Sheldon almost fell over backwards, and his
coffee, and his book, went flying onto the sidewalk.

Omigosh! she yelled.P
Sheldon!P Are you all
right?P I didnt even see you there!

He brushed a few spots of mocha from the sleeve of his
sweatshirt, chuckling.P Oh, why hello
there, Jenny.P Think nothing of it my
fault entirely.P I was just so
engrossed with the deep philosophical questions in this book Ive been reading

Uh philosophical questions?P She picked his book up off the ground, brushed off the cover, and
handed it back to him.

He scratched his chin pensively, tugging at both of his
whiskers.P Yes, Dostoevskys immortal
tale of the meaning of justice poses questions we would all do well to
contemplate, in this modern, confused world anyway, its a pleasant surprise
to see you.P What brings your lovely
self to this part of town?

Jennys eyebrow arched with a whirr.P Um I walk home from school this way every
day.

Ah, yes, well, of course he coughed, trying to
recover.P You know, its funny you
should mention school.P I believe tomorrow
night is the first big school dance of the year

I know! she squealed, bouncing on her toes.P The mere mention of the dance had her
brimming with excitement again.P We
were just talking about it at school!P
Its going to be so much fun.P
And Ive still got so much to do!P
Ive got to find somebody who needs a date for tomorrow night!

Sheldon had been playing it cool, but this was almost too
much to hope for.P His throat flashed
bone-dry and his eyes nearly sprang out of their sockets.P He tried to regain his composure.P Ahem er it could be difficult finding
someone on such short notice, Jenny, but I think that

I know, I know, its late.P
But that just makes the challenge all the more exciting!P Wait a second P She grinned and grabbed Sheldon by the shoulders.P Sheldon!P
How about you?P Do you know
anybody who still needs a date for tomorrow night?P If you could help me out, I would really appreciate it!

I dont believe It!P
Shes actually asking me!P This
is the moment Ive been waiting for.P
Sheldon gave her his most sophisticated glance, and spoke in a suave
voice.P Why Jenny, you should know that
you dont even need to ask.P Id be
honored to take

Jenny was still going a mile a minute.P Thats super!P Its so sweet of you to help out Drew like this

Sheldon blinked a couple of times.P Drew?

He needs a date for the dance, she continued.P Well, he doesnt know it yet, because he
doesnt think that hes going.P Except
that he is!P Brad and I were just
talking about it.P You see, Drew was
worried that he was going to be a third wheel, since Brad and I are going to
the dance together, and he doesnt have anyone

Sheldons face nearly cracked in half.P Brad!?!?!

I know, I know, he doesnt think its a good
idea.P But itll be so much better if we
all go, and then everyone can have fun!P
So if you know anybody who still needs a date, just give me a call, will
you?P Er, well maybe not.P You probably wont be able to get through
Im going to be on the phone all night.P
She glanced at a clock underneath her wrist panel.P Wow!P
Look how late it is!P Ive got to
get started now!P Sorry to hit and run,
Sheldon.P See you later!P Um, have fun with your book!

Her pigtails rotated to flight mode, and before he could
speak a word, she shot into the air on a trail of blue exhaust.P In another couple of seconds, she was out of
sight.

Sheldons face quivered slightly, then he clenched his fists
in rage and screamed.P He threw his book
onto the sidewalk and started jumping up and down on the cover.P Arrrghhh, I dont believe it!P That stupid magazine said that girls fall
for sophisticated guys.P I spent
all that money on this stupid book and drank all that disgusting coffee!P He tugged at the two whiskers sticking from
his pimpled chin.P I even grew this
goatee to impress her!P Oh, what did I
screw up?P Maybe I should have gone with
the black turtleneck and the sunglasses

He slumped back down in his chair outside the coffee shop
and sulked.P Frustrated, he pulled a
rolled-up copy of Manly magazine out of his backpack and tossed it on
the table.P Sheldon flipped it open to
the article hed been reading which promised that girls would just melt like
butter over a sophisticated man of intellect.P
So what am I missing here?P
Im more intellectual than any of the guys in this magazine!P Ill bet that none of these losers could
even name the original cast members of Star Dreck!P He ripped out the page, crumpled it into a
ball, and tossed it at a garbage can.P
He missed, of course.

But he noticed another article in the magazine, called Ask
Dr. Macho.P Curious, Sheldon started
reading as Dr. Macho explained to a reader how pathetic he was for chasing a
woman that he liked.P The trick was to
make women want to chase you.

Thats what Im trying to do, Sheldon moaned out
loud.P But then Dr. Macho revealed his
secret women want what they cant have.P
Once a girl sees that she cant have you, shell want you more than
anything in the world.

Sheldon tossed the magazine in the trash with a harrumph.P Well, I suppose its true after all, the
girls all chase Don Prima like hes hot stuff, and hes a total jerk who treats
them like garbage.P But it doesnt help
me at all!P How am I supposed to make
another girl crazy about me, when I cant even make Jenny crazy about me?

Suddenly a flash of inspiration dawned on him.P He smiled a scheming smile.

How am I supposed to make another girl crazy about me?P Thats it!!!P Thats the answer!P Wow,
once Jenny sees me at the dance tomorrow night, her oil pan is gonna boil over
with jealousy and desire and then well finally be together!

Sheldon clasped his hands together, fantasizing about his
true love.P Thanks, Dr. Macho!P Ive get to get back home Ive got work to
do!P He sprang to his feet and started
hopping from one foot to the other.P
Hed drank an awful lot of coffee.P
Unghhhh right after I find a bathroom.P

Continued in Chapter
Two