My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Some Like It Bot – Chapter 2

Some Like It ‘Bot

A “My Life as a Teenage Robot” Fanfic

Chapter Two Twisted Sister

Jenny lay on her bed, flat on her stomach, with a disgusted look on her face. She had converted her right arm into an air cannon, and her left arm into a large funnel. With a soft pop, she shot a tennis ball out of her right arm towards the ceiling. The ball bounced off the ceiling, the wall, and the floor, and dropped into the middle of her arm-funnel with a shoomp.

“Three hundred sixty-two,” she mumbled. Pop-bounce-shoomp. “Three hundred sixty-three.” Pop-bounce-shoomp. “Three hundred sixty-four.”

Mrs. Wakeman was fixing the last of the connections to Jenny’s emergency monitors. “You know, you could look upon this as an opportunity to catch up on your studies.” She gestured towards a large, thick book titled X-J Series Tactical Battle Study Guide.

Jenny didn’t shift her gaze from the wall. “Is that an order, master?”

Mrs. Wakeman huffed in frustration, and focused on the monitors. With one last press of a button, the screens hummed back to life, displaying maps and links to police computers, emergency departments, and Skyway Patrol. She started to leave the bedroom, then paused. “You can spend the rest of the weekend brooding if you like, XJ-9. But that will do nothing to convince me that you have learned how to act responsibly.” With that, she closed the door and walked downstairs.

Jenny fired the tennis ball one more time, then let it fall to the floor, bored out of her mind. She converted her arms back to normal, rolled over, and clasped her hands behind her head. So apparently the way to teach me responsibility is to ruin my life. She just wants to make sure that I never have any fun. She glanced at her alarm clock. A big part of Saturday was already wasted, and the big concert was going to start in less than two hours. The girls would be waiting at the Coliseum for Jenny to show up with the tickets. They were going to be furious with her. They’ll never speak to me again.

She could simply go to the concert anyway. It’s really not like Mom could stop me, right? Oh, she would go totally nuclear if I did something like that. But would things be any worse than they are right now? I mean, it’s not like she would reprogram me, or dismantle me right? Jenny wondered for a moment. Mom just might do something like that. It was still almost worth the risk to see that concert.

“Pssst! Pssst! Anyone home?” A voice came from the window. It couldn’t be Brad or Tuck, because her mother had already chased them off earlier that morning.

Drew popped his head through the window, and held up a large, fat brown envelope. “Hey Jenny! I was coming over to say hi, and a guy in a van was delivering this to your front door.”

She lowered her voice. “Drew? Come on in, but be quiet. Don’t want the warden to hear us.” A few minutes of company would be a nice break in the day, at least.

He stepped through the window, and handed the envelope to her. Jenny ripped it open and winced. “Oh, it’s the tickets from the radio station! And the backstage passes! And four official concert tee shirts!” It was all salt for her wounds.

“Wow, front row seats,” Drew said with a whistle. “You and your screaming girlfriends are gonna have a great time.”

“No, we’re not,” growled Jenny. “I can’t go to the concert. Mom grounded me.”

“What?!? Didn’t you tell her about winning the contest?”

“That’s practically why I’m grounded.”

“Geez, Jen that’s rough. I know you were really excited about it. How long are you stuck in here for?”

“As long as Mom feels like,” she pouted. Jenny took a deep breath, and sat up on her bed. “It’s not even just about missing the concert. Everyone was so excited for me yesterday, and for once, everybody wished they were me. This was going to be the greatest day of my life. Now, I don’t get to go to the concert, and I don’t get to meet the Back Sync Boys, but I do get to become a social leper for the rest of eternity.”

“Well, that just sucks.” Drew thought for a moment. “So you’re stuck here all day? Is there anything Brad or I can get for you?”

“Not unless you can sneak the Back Sync Boys in here. And their instruments. And their stage show. And maybe a few fireworks, too.”

Drew smiled sympathetically, and shrugged. “Probably not going to happen. Sorry.”

“Thanks anyway.” She slumped back against the wall. The only reason she wasn’t crying was that she’d emptied her tear reservoirs hours earlier.

Suddenly she heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

Jenny jumped to her feet. “Oh, no, it’s my mother! I’m not supposed to have any visitors!” She clenched her teeth. What, is she going to check on me every ten minutes? Mom was already at the top of the stairs. “Maybe she’s just going to the linen closet “

No such luck. Her bedroom door opened, and her mother looked in. “XJ-9? I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be working in my laboratory for the afternoon.”

“Okay, Mom, that’s great!” blurted Jenny, a little too quickly.

Mrs. Wakeman almost seemed to sense the guilt. “Did I hear you talking to somebody in here, young lady?”

“Nobody in here but us robots,” she answered, pleased with her secret little joke. However, she quickly glanced her eyes back and forth, and sure enough, she was alone in her bedroom. Where’s Drew? Did he jump out the window or something?

Her mother gave her a suspicious stare. “Very well, then. Monitor duty!” The door closed, and thankfully, her mother walked back down the stairs to concentrate on her science experiments.

Jenny took a deep sigh of relief. “Drew? Are you still in here?”

A faint oozing sound came from her pile of stuffed animals, and it was only then that Jenny noticed a big, comical panda bear that she didn’t remember owning. The panda’s black and white fur started to shimmer into waves of silver-green, then it stood upright and continued oozing and stretching into the shape of an android. A few seconds later, Drew had returned to his normal gray-green self.

“Wow, that was a neat trick,” she giggled. Hmmmm.

Jenny started to think.

Drew shrugged and smiled. “Hey, didn’t want to get you in any more trouble than you’re already in.”

“Mom didn’t even notice you there. I couldn’t even tell it was you until you changed back. Just like yesterday, when you impersonated the vice principal. It was pretty convincing.” A small smile started to form on Jenny’s face.

“Well, it’s only convincing if you don’t shake my hand or anything. I still feel like metal.”

Jenny’s smile grew larger. “But that wouldn’t be a problem if you were impersonating somebody else made of metal, would it?”

“Well no, I suppose not, but who else is ” Drew suddenly felt a cold lump in his stomach. Oh, no she isn’t serious!

Jenny had a wide, mischievous grin on her face.

“I always thought it would be cool to have a twin sister.”

Drew’s eyes nearly shot out of his head. “Oh come ON! You’ve got to be kidding!”

“You could do that shapeshift-thing and you’d look just like me, wouldn’t you?”

“Okay, that’s crazy! That’s not only crazy, it’s just plain wrong!!! And crazy! You’re crazy!!!”

“Just think about it for a minute,” Jenny said excitedly. “All you’d have to do is hang out here, in my room, doing nothing for a couple of hours. I could go to the concert, come back here, and my mom would never know the difference.”

“No. No way. I am not gonna hang out in a girl’s bedroom all day. Especially if I’m the girl!” A look of panic spread on his face as he realized that Jenny was serious about this. “Oh, geez, if anyone ever found out about this “

“Nobody is going to find out. It’s foolproof! Drew, I really, really want to go to that concert. And if I don’t go, then my friends don’t get to go either, and their Saturday gets ruined too! That’s not fair, is it?” Jenny clasped her hands behind her back, and pouted a little bit. “I know it would be boring sitting around here, and it would be a big favor to ask. But it would really mean a lot to me. Please, Drew? Please?”

“Aw, fer ” Drew gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. Don’t look at the face. Don’t look at the face.

“Please?” Drew broke down and cracked an eyelid. Jenny’s irresistible puppy-dog face was sweetly smiling twelve inches away. Aw, man! That’s fighting dirty arrghh

Drew’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Step back.”

Jenny hopped back, watching eagerly. Drew shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Drew’s body started to shimmer with waves of silver-green. His legs streamlined a bit, and he grew about six inches taller. His midsection shifted to a more feminine proportion. His face rounded and softened, and two small blobs sprung out of the top of his head, forming triangular pigtails. The shimmering stopped, and his grey-green coloring was replaced with steel and pale blue. And finally Poit! A small blue bolt formed in the middle of his belly.

Drew’s eyes were still closed. “I can’t look.”

Jenny bounced on her toes, and cupped her hands over her mouth to keep from laughing. “This is so cool! It’s fantastic!” She grabbed Drew by the shoulders and pulled him to the front of a full-length mirror. Drew finally opened his eyes. Sure enough, there was now a pair of Jennys standing in the bedroom. The only difference was that one was a lot happier than the other.

Drew tried to compose “himself”. “Okay, Jenny, ha-ha, you’ve had your little fun. But this won’t work. Listen to my voice! Testing one-two-three. Hello! Guy’s voice, girl’s body.”

Jenny had sold herself on this plan by now, and wasn’t about to let a minor detail trip things up. “Let me think. I know there’s a spare one around here somewhere ” She started rummaging through some boxes in her closet, while Drew just stared at himself in the mirror, stunned.

“A-ha! Problem solved,” she announced triumphantly. Jenny held up a small electronic device. “It’s one of my old voice modulators. Mom replaced mine a couple of weeks ago with a new one, but this one should still work. Try it!”

Drew took the small device from her hand. “I don’t know about this.” Well, it doesn’t have any moving parts He sighed, tossed it in his mouth, and felt his nano-probes start to integrate with the circuitry of the modulator.

Drew grimaced a bit. A few faint beeps chirped from his throat.

Jenny couldn’t restrain her excitement. “Well? Say something!”

Drew folded his arms across his chest. “I knew this wasn’t going to work,” he said in a perfect duplication of Jenny’s voice. He slapped his hand over his mouth.

Jenny let out a tiny squeal, then giggled into her hands. “You sound just like me! Oh, this is too much fun.” She studied their reflections in the mirror for a few seconds, and turned Drew around in a circle, studying him from all sides.

Drew was getting more flustered by the minute. “Jenny, what the heck are you doing?”

She tapped her chin, studying her doppelganger carefully. “I know what’s missing.”

“Missing? What’s missing? I “

Jenny grabbed Drew by the shoulders, and shoved him down into a chair in front of a small table. Her left hand folded back into her arm, and a soft polishing wheel deployed. It whirred up to speed, and Jenny started to run the polisher over Drew’s face.

“Blrghh!!!” Drew waved his arms at the tool.

“Stop squirming. Just sit still for a minute.”

Two minutes later, Jenny retracted her polishing tool. “I always like to put a little shine on my cheeks first thing in the morning. And ” She reached for a small bottle on her dresser, filled with finely ground, blue metal filings. The label read Cobalt Morning Sky. Jenny dabbed a brush in the filings and lightly dusted Drew’s cheeks. ” a little blush, and you’re all done. What do you think?”

“Please shoot me now.”

“Drew, you look great,” she giggled. “Now for your nails.”

“Why is this necessary if I’m not going anywhere?” he protested.

She couldn’t resist. “Well, a girl’s always got to look her best,” she laughed.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m outta here.”

Jenny shoved him back into the chair. “All you have to do is kick back and relax. Mom’s going to be working in her lab all day,” she reassured him. “She’ll lose track of time down there. You probably won’t even see her. “

Drew motioned towards the ceiling monitors. “And what if those things start going off?”

“Just give me a call on the remote.” She pointed to one of the wall monitors. “Press that big blue button, and you can talk to me on my video screen. It works just like the one my mom uses to call me at school.”

Drew sighed, and buried his head in his hands. “There’s got to be at least fifty reasons why this doesn’t have a chance of working,” he said. “Hurry up and get out of here before I think of them.”

“Yes!” Jenny pumped her fists. “Back Sync Boys, here I come! Drew, you’re the best!”

Jenny grabbed the envelope with the concert tickets, passes, and other assorted goodies, and hopped out of her bedroom window. Her pigtails rotated into position and blam, she sailed into the sky, spinning in giddy barrel rolls, heading towards the Tremorton Coliseum.

Drew plopped himself down into a beanbag chair, looked over into the mirror, and tugged at his cute, blue pigtails.

“Oh, yeah. It’s official. I am completely out of my mind.”

Mrs. Wakeman dabbed a few beads of perspiration from her forehead. She’d actually gotten a lot of work done this afternoon on the new prototype engines for XJ-9’s pigtail propulsion system. In a couple of weeks, they should be ready for a test firing. But that was only if she kept to her production schedule, and of course, she’d just run out of micro-fusion regulators.

“Isn’t that always the way,” she sighed. “You always think you have plenty of regulators lying around until you actually need one. Well, it looks like a quick jaunt to the hardware store is in order.”

She’d just quickly zip upstairs to let her daughter know that she was leaving. XJ-9 had been quiet uncharacteristically quiet all afternoon. No crying spells, no teenage tantrums. Mrs. Wakeman felt a mixture of uncertainty and sneaking suspicion as she left her laboratory.

As soon as she walked out, a rustle of activity came from the animal cages on the shelf. One cage’s door flew open, and a small black rat jumped down to the floor, struggling with a large flask of greenish-yellow liquid. He caught his balance, and ran to the far corner of Mrs. Wakeman’s lab, where she kept the husks of her old half-completed robots. The rat scurried underneath an oily drop cloth, and a few moments later, the lab was filled with the sound of a small wrench, ratcheting away.

Drew had to admit that Jenny was right about one thing there was absolutely nothing to do in here. Considering the alternatives, he was perfectly happy with that. He’d been sure that the monitors were going to start sounding off like air raid sirens at any moment. After spending the first hour in Jenny’s bedroom on pins and needles, suffering through a mixture of paranoia and extreme awkwardness, Drew had calmed down a bit. He glanced at the clock Jenny’s concert was underway, and she should be enjoying herself right about now. Well, I’m glad one of us is.

There were plenty of magazines lying about, and he’d been bored enough to read ten pages of Teen Scene. Right up to the article on the perfect prom dress. Okay, that’s enough of that. He killed some time with a large, thick book called Battle Study something-or-other. It was actually kind of interesting, listing all the weapons and attack modes that Jenny was capable of using during a fight. And Jenny had an amazing inventory at her disposal. I would never have thought you could use a cappuccino dispenser as a weapon.

Drew stood up, yawned, and stretched his arms. He started scratching his butt until he caught his reflection in the mirror, and had to chuckle. Not really very lady-like of me. He took a closer look at Jenny’s emergency monitors. Lots of chatter and petty crimes, but nothing serious enough to warrant his or her attention. These monitors had pretty high-quality displays. Drew studied the dials, trying to make sense of them. Hmmm I wonder if I could get SportsCenter on this thing?

Then the bedroom door opened, and Mrs. Wakeman stepped in. He hadn’t even heard her come up the stairs. Drew froze in terror as she looked directly at him. He was certain that the jig was up.

“XJ-9? Is everything all right? You’re certainly being very quiet up here, young lady.”

Holy cow, she actually thinks I’m Jenny. Say something, stupid!

“Everything’s fine, Doc. No Mom! Everything’s just fine eh Mom. Heh-heh.” Oh, smooth.

Mrs. Wakeman arched an eyebrow, and glanced around the room. XJ-9 was standing attentively in front of one of her emergency monitors. And X-J Series Tactical Battle Study Guide was lying on the floor, cracked open to the section on proper use of beam weaponry. And she wasn’t giving her backtalk about that silly concert. Good Heavens! She’s actually behaving!

“Well, I must say I’m pleasantly surprised. I rather expected one of your temperamental displays of teenage melodrama.”

“Umm ” Whoops, should I be acting mad at her? Too late for that now. Drew tried to conjure up sweet, girly smile. “Well, you did tell me I was on monitor duty.”

“I suppose I did, at that. Well, I need to run out to Hardware Depot to pick up a set of regulators. I shouldn’t be too long. If you’re thirsty, you may go down to the kitchen. There’s motor oil, anti-freeze, and transmission fluid that diet kind you like. But bring it straight back to your room.”

“Sure, Mom. Thanks,” grinned Drew. Hey, Jenny, I’m buttering up your mother for you!

Mrs. Wakeman left the bedroom with a surprised smile on her face, and left the house. A few moments later, Drew heard the station wagon start up, and leave the driveway.

Drew let out a big sigh of relief.

With Dr. Wakeman out of the house, this was going to be a cinch! Maybe Jenny will actually get back here before her mom does. Man, she might actually get away with this. For the first time that afternoon, Drew started to loosen up a bit. He thought about reverting back to his own appearance nobody’s around, right? then thought better of it. Someone might show up unexpectedly, or Wakeman might have a camera in this room. Never hurts to stay a little bit paranoid.

He walked around the bedroom, in a mood to explore. He inspected the table where Jenny had worked on his face. There had to be thirty bottles of some kind of goop sitting there. What the heck does she do with this stuff? The bottles had names like Morning Facial Acid Wash, Silicone Lubricant For Her, and Young Miss Electroplating Fluid. Yeesh. There were probably more chemicals here than there were downstairs in Dr. Wakeman’s lab.

A large machine against the wall seemed to be some kind of diagnostics unit. There were more curiosities in the closet. A large, rather goofy-looking spare set of eyes. A box of data discs labeled Language OS Backups. An empty box for something called an “exo-skin”. Lots of spare parts and electronic gizmos. Two stacks of fashion catalogs, even though Jenny didn’t own any clothes. That hadprobably started a lot of fights in this room.

Yawn.

Drew shuffled back to the monitors. A couple of hours to go, and I can forget that today ever happened. He started fiddling with the frequency dials on one of the smaller trouble monitors. If he could just pull in one football game I don’t care who’s playing he could kill the rest of the afternoon. Because the only alternative was Jenny’s new Teen Yak on her pillow, and he did not care about how to tell if your boyfriend was lying to you

The bedroom door blasted off its hinges in a cloud of splinters and plaster.

It just about scared the wits out of him. Drew spun around to see a short metal something standing in the doorway. It was about four feet tall, shaped like a stovepipe, olive green in color, with two arms and four spindly legs whirring and whining furiously as it wobbled into the bedroom. It was another robot! But there was a clear plastic dome in place of a head, and what is that thing sitting in there?!?

“Where the heck did you come from?!?” Drew shouted, in a near panic.

“So, you are forgettink me so soon, robot?!?” growled a voice from the dome. “I have not forgotten you or your role in subjugation of my Comrades!”

Drew stared, barely believing his eyes. Is that a rat sitting inside of that thing?!? A talking rat?!?

The robot lumbered a few steps towards Drew, belching oily clouds of exhaust. The rat was madly working levers, dials and switches in what appeared to be some sort of a cockpit. It raised an accusing arm, pointing at him. “Long have I planned my vengeance against brutal oppression of Vakeman regime! Long have I suffered humiliation and indignities of her experiments! Vell Day of Glorious Revolution has finally arrived! You defeated me once, foolish girl. But today today you shall taste bitter defeat at hands of Vladimir!!!”

Drew gulped. Okay, it is a talking rat. With a nasty grudge against Jenny and her mom. Oh yeah that’s right. I’m Jenny.

Well, how much trouble could one rat be? I mean it’s a rat.

Drew took a few steps towards the noisy green contraption. “Okay ‘Vladimir’, er, Mom must have left your cage open. Let’s get you back down to the lab.”

“Not so fast, arrogant automaton!” Vladimir yanked hard on a large red lever.

A door slid open in the robot suit’s midsection, and a muzzle telescoped outward, glowing a brilliant red. Before Drew could react, a blast of energy fired directly into his chest, knocking him backwards with terrific force. He slammed into the bedroom wall, smashing against one of the electronic panels. Sparks crackled as he bounced off and slumped to the floor.

“Holy cripes!” he said, shaking his head. He didn’t feel any pain, but he felt plenty disoriented. Drew glanced down at his er, body. There were some scorch marks and indentations on his pale blue chest from the energy beam, but everything seemed to be in one piece. Still, he didn’t want to get in the way of another one of those.

Drew struggled back to his feet. Okay, this was not in the job description. Time to call in the cavalry. And that’s when he realized that Jenny’s remote link had been reduced to a heap of electronic junk. Oh, crap. He pounded on the big blue button, but instead of a video link to Jenny, all he saw was a screen full of static.

Vladimir pressed his attack. “They are sayink that revenge is a dish best served cold! Vell, I beg to differ. I am preferrink my revenge blazing hot!!!” The creaky, spindly robot leaned forward, and a rocket nozzle popped out of the bottom of its stovepipe body. With a deafening roar, the rocket fired to life, and the robot lunged into the air towards Drew.

It tackled him, driving both of them through the bedroom window. Glass shattered into thousands of pieces and both robots hurtled into the air, trailing a thick column of smoke. They fought and wrestled, spiraling out of control hundreds of feet above the ground. Drew gathered his wits and looked at the robot’s cockpit, where the miserable little rat was holding on for dear life. Vladimir reached for the big red lever that controlled the beam weapon. If he fired now, it would hit him with full force at point blank range.

Figuring he had to do something anything Drew balled his right hand into a fist and punched the dome-head of the robot, at the same time that Vladimir pulled the lever. The beam struck him a glancing blow, and both robots spun off into the sky in wildly different directions. The world twisted in sickening circles, but Drew could see the sidewalk rushing up to meet him at high speed.

Drew plowed into the ground, knocking over a mailbox, and sending a fountain of dirt into the air. He lay in the bottom of the crater for a few seconds, while dust and rocks fell back down to earth, amazed that he was still alive. Drew sat up and glanced down at his body, hips, and leg housings. A little banged up, a few scratches on the pale blue finish, but everything was still attached. With a quick shimmer-ripple, the damage was repaired.

He picked up the broken mailbox, and scanned the sky, looking for the flying rat. If this crazy rodent was serious, then maybe being Jenny’s stunt double wasn’t that great of an idea right now

“Jenny! Jenny, is that you?!?”

He winced, and closed his eyes. Oh, great. Now he was out in the open, and somebody had recognized “Jenny”. He had to keep up the act a while longer, evil rat or no evil rat. There was no way he was going to let anyone watch “Jenny” turn into Drew.

The voice was calling from a nearby house. “Jenny! Oh, no! Hang on, my sweet! I’ll be right there!”

Hang on, my what?!?

Drew looked down at the mailbox in his hands. Painted on the side was the family name “Lee”.

Oh no.

A scrawny, gangly teenager scrambled towards him, his pimpled face a mixture of excitement and concern. He was fighting to catch his breath, and it was not due to the short run from the front steps. His face flushed red, and he brushed his black hair out of his eyes. Then he wiped the grease and sweat from his hand, and held it out.

“Can I give you a hand, J-Jenny?” asked Sheldon. Then he chuckled bashfully, blushed, and snorted.

Drew’s eyes shrunk to the size of pencil points.

Suddenly an evil psychotic rat seemed like the least of his problems.

Continued in Chapter Three