My Life As A Nubile Robot Porno Story: Reality Bytes Chapter 1

Obvious Disclaimer The characters in this story are from
the cartoon My Life as a Teenage Robot, and spring from the brain of Rob
Renzetti.P I am a no-good schnook whos
just taking his characters and writing my own little stories with them.P If anybody at Nickelodeon is reading this,
please do not sic the lawyer-bots on me.P
My sole creation is the character of Drew, a human high school student
who was turned into an android by Cluster nanotechnology.P Its explained in the stories Android Scam
and Some Like It Bot by CoyoteLoon.P
Although hes really a minor character in this one this is mainly a
Jenny/Brad story, with sort of a Christmas theme.P In the spirit of the season, the weatherman would like to warn
you that theres a 70% chance of fluff.P
Well see what happens.

REALITY BYTES

A My Life as a
Teenage Robot Fanfic

Chapter One Video
Games Will Rot Your Brain

Brad leaned out the front door of the house, waving to his
Mom and Dad as the car pulled out of the driveway.P With only a few days left until Christmas, they still had plenty
of shopping to do, and they would be out for most of the afternoon.P Which was absolutely perfect, thought
Brad.P The car started heading down the
road towards town, and Brad watched it until it was finally out of sight.

All right, Tuck, theyre gone!P Commence search operations!P
Go!P Go!P Go!

Ive got the bedrooms! yelled Tuck.P He sprinted upstairs.P Brad headed for the hall closet.

Even though their parents were out for more shopping, the
brothers knew that some of the presents had already been bought, including some
big ones.P Secrets didnt keep very long
when Tuck was around and presents were involved.P Tuck went through his parents bedroom first.P Nothing under the bed.P Nothing in the closets.P But those would be the first places theyd
expect him to look.P Mom and Dad
truly are a crafty pair, he thought.P
There could be something in the towel closet.P No, nothing there.P Maybe
they had it stashed up in the attic.

I found some stuff in the pantry, Brad yelled from
downstairs, but nothing that looks big enough!P You having any luck up there?

No, Tuck said, a bit annoyed.P And I know I saw Dad sneak it in.P Ive looked everywhere except our bedrooms,
and it sure wouldnt be there …P Tuck
snapped his fingers.P Thats just
what theyd want us to think!P He
ran into his bedroom and

Eureka! screamed Tuck!P
Wrapped in a blanket and hidden under my very own bed!P Oh, you really have to give it to Dad.P All this time, I was sleeping right on top
of it!

Brad ran in and dropped next to his little brother.P They unwrapped the blanket to reveal a black
and silver box.P The boys just stared
with pure joy for a few moments.

The GameStation 3000X, whispered Brad, in reverent
awe.P The ultimate video game
experience.P State of the art 3-D
graphics.P High-speed Internet
connection.P Stereo surround sound.P They say it has more raw processing power
than five monkey brains.

Tuck caressed the boxs cover, like a favorite pet.P Theres a warning label for people with
heart conditions.P O-o-o-oooh, Brad

Lets get this puppy hooked up! Brad shouted.

Brad and Tuck raced down to the living room and carefully
opened the box, saving all the parts so they could re-package it later, before
their parents got home.P It only took
them a few minutes to get everything hooked up to the television in the living
room, and they were ready for power-on.P
The GameStation corporate logo blasted onto the screen in a blizzard of
3D effects and rumbling stereo.P Brad
could feel his ribcage vibrate from the subwoofer.P Tuck stared at the visual effects in a hypnotic gaze.P They turned and shared an unspoken thought
coolest present ever!!!

Tuck wiped a tear from his eye.P Its more beautiful than I dared dream.

Brad popped in a game disc, and a few screens later, he and
Tuck were blasting away enemy space commandos in video game paradise.P It just doesnt get any better than this,
little bro! he shouted.

Mrs. Wakeman was elated.P
She hadnt expected this level of success with her latest
experiment.P And it was all rather
invigorating, as well.P In fact, she had
to fight back mild feelings of vertigo.

She was floating in deep space, surrounded on all sides by
softly glowing green doors.P There had
to be millions of them.P There was no
air, but she had no trouble breathing.P
It was cool and dark, but the glowing doors filled the universe with a
soft, green ambient light.P If she
concentrated, she could see green circuitry stretching off to infinity in every
direction.P It was a striking visual
image in its boldness and simplicity, but not particularly useful as a research
tool.P All right, time to see how
well the interface works.

Very well then search engine, she called out.P This environment is completely disorganized.P Sigh, but then again, that hardly comes a
surprise.P Chaos and teenagers do seem
to come as a packaged set.

A floating window popped into existence, just off to her
right, and a synthesized voice spoke from it.P
Good day, and welcome to Android OS 2000.P Please state your query.

Oh, remarkable!P
Lets see now fetch me the engineering schematics for the Cluster
nano-probe!

Working, said the search window.P Less than one second later, Mrs. Wakeman watched one of the small
green doors rocket towards her at impossible speed, then stop two feet from her
face.P Unfazed, she reached forward and
tapped the door, and it disappeared into nothing.P Then she walked through.

On the other side of the door was another universe,
wallpapered with mathematical equations floating in mid-air.P Directly in front of Mrs. Wakeman hovered a
giant ball-and-pipe structure, glowing various colors, with floating labels
pointing to various locations.P Other
schematics and images floated off into the distance, showing the same structure
from different distances and angles.

Heavens to Einstein!P
This is extraordinary! shouted Mrs. Wakeman.P The complete engineering blueprints for the most advanced
nanotechnology in the Cluster arsenal!P
Oh my stars and garters, I must figure out a way to bring a notepad and
a pencil in here.

Suddenly the entire universe twitched, just a
bit.P It was a bit disorienting, but
nothing to seriously worry about.P
Still, this was the first time that shed tried this experiment, and
things had already gone better than she would have predicted.P So even though shed only been in here for
ten minutes, Mrs. Wakeman decided it was time to leave and analyze the results
of this test run.

She left the room and walked back out into the empty
infinity of hovering green doors.P The
floating window was waiting for her.P
Thats quite enough for today.P
Show me the exit port, please, she asked.P A different green pinprick rushed towards her from the edge of
the universe and stopped three feet from her nose.P Mrs. Wakeman tapped on the door, and walked through, into a
brilliant white light.

Mrs. Wakeman sure did come up with some pretty strange ideas
now and then, but this one was right up there.P They were both sitting in Mrs. Wakemans laboratory.P Drew waved his arm in front of her face,
trying to get her attention.P She was
slumped back in her chair, and seemed to be unresponsive.P Doc?P
Doc!P Can you hear me, Doc?P Are you okay?

Mrs. Wakeman was wearing a bizarre-looking helmet on her
head, with a visor that dropped down over her eyes.P It was covered with strange electronics and glowing tubes.P In the back of the helmet, a thick black
cable came out and ran down to the floor.P
At the other end, ten feet away, the connector was plugged into Drews
gray, metal chest.

Suddenly she flung a pair of triumphant fists into the
air.P Fantastic!P Simply fantastic!P Oh, I must record my findings while they are still fresh in my
mind!P She took off the helmet, and
started rummaging in her desk for a pencil.

Phew, gasped Drew, you gave me a little bit of a scare
there, Doc.

Mrs. Wakeman was still a bit euphoric, and a little
dizzy.P She started jotting down
notes.P Complete and total sensory
immersion!P Full interaction with the
virtual environment!P Seamless interface
with the host operating system!P Could
have used a thermostat though, it was a bit chilly in there

Dr. Wakeman! Drew finally got her attention.P Could you please tell me what just
happened?

I have been working on this virtual reality helmet for
three years now, and have never gotten it to operate satisfactorily, she
explained.P But the unique nature of
your synthetic body afforded me an opportunity to test it on a completely
different kind of information network.P
And it works, by Jove!P It
works!

Drew blinked a few times.P
Okay, remember, high school freshman, here.

Augh, what are they teaching teenagers in science class
these days? she huffed.P Andrew, your
android body is made up of trillions of nanobots.P It takes a quite a bit to control that many little machines, and
scattered throughout your body are tiny molecular supercomputers.P Hundreds of millions of them.P Thats why you do not have a brain.P Your brain is spread throughout your entire
body.

Wow, thats freaky, Drew managed to mutter.P Sort of like millions of tiny chocolate
chips in a big bowl of cookie dough.

Not exactly the analogy I might have used, but yes,
she said, rolling her eyes.P Those
computers are programmed to be highly adaptive and responsive.P So when I plugged the helmet into your
chest, your body created an interface.P
And the helmet worked perfectly!P
I could visualize your databanks, move about, talk to the OS it was as
if I was literally inside of your bodys computer network.

So you you were zipping around inside my mind?P No offense, Doc, but Im not sure if I like
the sound of that.

Oh please, relax.P I
wasnt looking for anything embarrassing.P
She folded her arms.P Im a
scientist.P There may be large amounts
of Cluster information in your brain that could prove useful in forestalling
any aggressive actions on their part in the future.P Something to think about in a future session, but for now, I
think well take a little break.P I want
to go over the data from the helmet, and grab a snippet of lunch.P And perhaps a scone with blackberry
marmalade!P I do feel like celebrating a
bit.P The virtual reality helmet is a
smashing success!!!P That will be all,
Andrew.

Mrs. Wakeman grabbed a stack of paper readouts and headed
for the kitchen.P Drew hadnt known the
doctor for long, but he could tell when she wanted company and when she
didnt.P I think she sees me as more
of a petri dish than a house guest, anyway.P
Eh scientists.P Whaddaya gonna
do?P Drew let himself out of the
Wakeman house, wondering how to kill the rest of the afternoon.P Jenny was off on some emergency call
downtown.P Maybe Brad and Tuck were up
to something.

Drew couldnt turn his head from the amazing picture that
the GameStation 3000X was putting on the television.P It looked just like an authentic fortress!P The backgrounds were almost
photo-realistic!P The trees looked real!P When the space commandos ran, the motion was
so fluid.P And the explosions
you could almost feel the blast when one of the characters was flung into the
air!

Watch this! shouted Brad.P
His character was standing on top of burning truck.P Brad mashed a series of buttons on his game
controller, and his commando somersaulted into the air, firing a rocket gun
at a group of enemy fighters.P They blew
up in a really cool way.P
Pictures hanging on the wall of the living room vibrated as the
explosions rumbled from the speakers.

Hey, whined Tuck, I was gonna do that!P I was luring them into a false sense of
security!

Too slow, Marine!P The
legend of the Brad-inator grows.P High
score!

Tuck turned his controller over in his hands.P I think some of the buttons are sticking on
this.

Now, now, Tuck, its a poor musician who blames his
instrument.P Drew, check out the water
effects on this river over here.P If you
jump in, the waves are totally realistic.P
And watch the branches on this tree when I blow it up.P They swing back and forth like the real
thing.P And check out how the laser gun
glows when you fire it.P Its the most
realistic game machine ever made.

Drew stared lustfully at the GameStation.P Oo-o-o-oh Its like if God played video
games, this is what he would have in his living room.P Dude, I call next!

No way, laughed Brad, we just got this thing open!P I need to teach my little brother a lesson
in sibling seniority.P Now, see how Tuck
believes hes hidden in that factory over there.P Apparently under cover and well
protected.P That might be true, were it
not for the Omega Bomb!P Mwa, ha, ha,
ha!

Tuck jumped in his seat.P
What?!?P Theres not an Omega
Bomb on this world!

There is if you turned them on at the start of the game,
mlad.P Voila!P Brads space commando pulled a huge bazooka
cannon from behind his back, and fired a missile into the air.P It circled for a few seconds, then came down
right on top of Tuck, with a wall-shaking explosion.

AIIGHHH!!! screamed Tuck.P
You blew me up!P Your own
brother!

Suddenly the front door of the house flew off its hinges
with a blam.

The boys nearly fell to the floor as Jenny roared into the
living room, with a blast of icy wind behind her.P She landed, poised for action.

Guys, I heard explosions!P
Is everyone okay?!?

Drew got up to his knees.P
Well, I was before that heart attack.

Tuck frowned.P
Jenny, there is a doorbell.

Brad leaned back in the sofa.P I am much more than okay, which is more than I can say for my
little soldier of misfortune here, next to me.P
Dear Mom and Dad, the Space Marines regret to inform you that your son,
Tuck, done got himself blowed up real good!

Only because your older, dopier son is a big cheater!
added Tuck.

Jenny glanced around the living room.P There were no scorch marks, no debris, no
damage nothing except a bag of potato chips spilled onto the floor.P It didnt make any sense until she looked
at the lasers and plasma rays blasting away on the television.

She smacked her forehead.P
Are you telling me that I rushed over here because of a stupid video
game?!?P I dont believe you
guys!P I could hear the explosions from
five hundred feet in the air!

Wow!P Five hundred
feet?P Drew and Brad bumped fists.P Swee-e-eet!

A beautiful winter afternoon, and you boys are all sitting
around a television set playing make believe war games, Jenny huffed.P Well, Im finally done with the latest
crisis downtown.P Theres fresh snow
falling outside.P I thought it might be
fun to go sledding on the big hill by the pond.P I saw a whole bunch of kids over there, while I was flying home.

Brad was staring at the TV.P
Eh we went sledding last week.P
Ive got a record score going here, and I dont want to lose it.

But its snowing right now, Jenny said, a little surprised
at Brads answer.P Brad, last week you
said that fresh snow was the best snow for sledding.P I bet we can break our speed record today!

Itll snow again sometime.P Zap!P Blam!P Kaboom!

I dont believe this!P
You can play that stupid video game anytime!

Tuck gasped.P She
speaks ill of the game!P Blasphemy!

Well forgive her this time, chuckled Brad.P Now prepare for another taste of defeat,
short stuff.

Can you at least look at me when youre talking to
me? said Jenny.P She was getting a
little angry.P I realize Im not as
interesting as your big laser battle game, but maybe you could tear your attention
away for five seconds?!?

Brad finally hit the pause button, and turned around.P Jenny, whats the big problem?P Tuck and I wanted to try out our new
GameStation.P When our parents get back,
we wont be able to play it again until after Christmas.P You can play with us if you want to.P Well go sledding some other time.P Theres three more months of winter,
yknow.

Jenny balled her fists, and stomped her feet.P Fine!P
Play your stupid Lame-Station!P I
couldnt care less!P And with that, she
clanked heavily out the front door.

Brad, Tuck, and Drew looked at each other silently for a few
moments.

I didnt realize that she liked sledding that much,
said Drew.

Its not that, groaned Brad.P Shes been acting kind of moody like that for the past week or
so. PI cant figure out why.P I asked her if there was anything wrong, or
if she was fighting with her mom well, more than usual and she says theres
nothing wrong, and then gets all mad.P
Go figure.P He rolled his
eyes.P I think I have an easier time understanding
the robot part than I do the girl part.

Yeah, yeah, enough with the soap opera, interrupted
Tuck.P Are we gonna play or what?

Youre on, laughed Brad, un-pausing the game.P

The mayhem continued, as once more the living room was
filled with the zaps, booms, and rumbles of plasma fire and shock
grenades.P Check it out, said
Brad.P If you use up all your weapons,
you can fight in hand-to-hand combat.P
Of course, its a little hard to control with this game pad.P Brad experimented with his space commando,
who clumsily swung in the wrong direction and got knocked on his back by an
enemy fighter.

Ha, ha!P Your
commando fights like a girl, laughed Tuck.P
Didnt I hear somebody say something once about its a poor musician
who blames his instrument?

Well the controls totally dont make any sense for
using your fists.P Where are the
instructions?

You know, I saw these things on a GameStation TV commercial
called Senso-Gloves, said Tuck.P You
wear them like normal gloves, and they plug right into the GameStation.P And you control your character with your own
hands!P Maybe Mom and Dad bought them
too!

A flash of inspiration struck Drew.P He grinned at Brad and Tuck.

Gentlemen, I believe I can do better than that.

What do you mean? asked Brad.

Ill see your Senso-Gloves and raise you one Virtual
Reality Helmet.

Brads eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he grinned
like a hyena.P Tell me more.

Jenny stood in her front yard, alone, staring across the
street.P Big, fat snowflakes were
drifting lazily through the air.P A few
flakes stuck to her cheek, and after a few seconds, a thin layer of slush
started to form on her face, shoulders, and pigtails.P She didnt bother wiping it off.

She was watching a family, out hanging Christmas decorations
on their front porch.P The father looked
like he had spent the day stringing lights all over the house, and the children
had built a family of snowmen on the front yard.P The mother was hanging a large wreath on the front door.

Mmmm I just love the smell of fresh pine branches, said
the mother.P Jenny was a bit ashamed to
be eavesdropping, but it was easy to do with super robot hearing.

I love the smell of that pumpkin pie! laughed the little
girl.P Can I have a piece before
dinner?

Come on, everyone, said the father.P Get inside and Ill get a fire going.P Nothing feels better than a crackling fire
on a cold winter night.

The little girl and her brother ran inside with a squeal,
and the father wrapped his arms around his wifes waist.P He laughed, and pointed to the top of the
door, where hed just hung a sprig of mistletoe.P They gave each other a quick, playful kiss, and disappeared into
their happy home, unaware that Jenny was even watching them.

Jenny sighed, and a small tear froze in the corner of her
eye.P Then she heard a voice from behind
her.

Uh Jen?P
Hlo?P Drew had walked out of
Brads house, and was waving to get her attention.

Oh.P Hey,
Drew.P How long was he standing
there?

Im just heading over to your moms lab for a second and
P Drew looked a bit concerned.P Are you just going to stand out here in
the cold?P We figured you were heading
over to the sledding hill.

No, I thought Id just stand here and let the snow cover
me, she said sarcastically.P How to
make a snow robot, the easy way.

Uh all right, then.P
Sorry to bother you.P Drew slunk
away.

Wait a minute, Jenny groaned, and slumped her
shoulders.P Im sorry.P I might as well go inside too, everybody
else is.P She slowly trudged a few steps,
then stopped.P Drew, can I ask you a
silly question?

You might get a silly answer.P Fire away.

Does it feel cold out to you?

That did seem like a silly question.P Well I guess so.P I mean, its Id call it twenty-six and a half degrees.P Id say thats cold.

Its twenty-six point four degrees.P Your sensors need to be tuned up, she
chuckled softly.P But do you feel
cold?

Drew wasnt sure where this was going.P Well, no, I dont.P I suppose I really dont ever feel
hot or cold anymore, ever since my overhaul, he joked, referring to his
transformation into an android.

Do you miss it?

He shrugged.P Its
not really something Ive given a lot of thought, to be honest.P Its actually kind of nice not to have to
worry about getting cold.

You dont miss the feeling of a cool breeze on your
cheek?P Or a snowflake melting on your
tongue?

Like I said, never really thought about it.

That stupid Brad, she grumbled.P He can come out here and enjoy the taste of the snow, and the
feel of the wind, anytime he wants.P He
doesnt know how lucky he is.P And he
doesnt even care!P He and his dumb
brother would rather rot their brains playing video games.

Drew arched an eyebrow, a little mystified.P Jenny, is something wrong?

Im fine, Jenny harrumphed, and then changed the
subject.P Lets just get inside.P Why are you heading over to my moms lab,
anyway?

Wha?P Oh, Im going
to borrow a little something we were testing together this afternoon.P Your mom invented a cool virtual reality
helmet.P I think I can get it hooked up
to Brads new GameStation.

Arghhhh, groaned Jenny, as she and Drew walked in the
Wakeman house.P I dont know which I
hate worse, that silly video game or that stupid helmet.P Is my mom trying to get that thing working again?

You know about the helmet? asked Drew.

Know about it?P
At one time, she wanted to install a receiver for that stupid helmet
inside of me, Jenny explained.P
She never got it to work, so she put in the video screen that unfolds
from my chest.P You think its a drag to
have your mother pop out of your chest and embarrass you in front of
everybody?P Imagine having her pop into
your brain.

Well, I figured we might give this baby a little field
test.P Drew lifted the helmet and
tucked it under his arm.

Knock yourselves out, said Jenny.P Get back to your fellow space commandos, or
whatever.

All righty, then.P
See you later.P Drew left the
house and sprinted excitedly back to Brads place, eager to hook that stupid
helmet up to that stupid game.P Boys
and their toys.

Well, good riddance to them.P She was in a mood to be alone right now,
anyway.P Jenny clunked her way upstairs
towards her bedroom.P I suppose Ill
just listen to some music for the afternoon.P
As long as it doesnt have anything to do with Christmas.

Why did she feel that way?P
Why did she feel worse and worse the closer it got to Christmas?P She stopped at the top of the steps and
looked out a window, back at the house across the street.P Everybody always seemed so busy and happy this
time of year.P Everybody went to parties
and gave each other presents.P
Everything was decorated with bright colors and blinking lights.P It all seemed so wonderful.P Everybody seemed to feel wonderful.P I suppose it really does feel
wonderful.P I wouldnt know.

Smoke started to drift out of the chimney.P Apparently, the father had gotten that
crackling fire started in the fireplace.P
I wonder if it feels warm.

I wonder what warm feels like.

She lost track of time, and finally realized that shed been
staring out the window for fifteen minutes.P
Jenny sighed, and dragged her feet towards her room.

Then she heard a soft moan coming from down the hall.P It was coming from her mothers
bedroom.P Hmmm, Moms usually in the
lab this time of day.

Jenny peeked into her mothers bedroom.P Mrs. Wakeman was lying on the bed, with an
icepack covering her forehead.P She
moaned again, and started rubbing her temples.

Mom?P Are you all
right? asked Jenny, suddenly a little concerned.

Mrs. Wakeman was a bit startled, but waved her in.P Oh, hello there, XJ-9 I assume everything
went well with the eggnog tanker spill on the bridge downtown?P Ill be all right in a few minutes.P I just have a rather nasty headache, thats
all.P Nothing a little ibuprofen wont
clear up.P Ohhhhhh.P She shifted the icepack on her head,
covering her eyes.

You need to learn how to mellow out, Mom.P Youre probably just working too hard.

One of us has to, young lady, grumbled Mrs. Wakeman.P I just need to take a break from my virtual
reality helmet experiment.

Oh, said Jenny, playing dumb.P Youre working on that thing again.P Did you get it to work?

Work?P I should say
so.P In fact, the confounded contraption
works too well.

Something about that didnt sound good.P How can it work too well?

Mrs. Wakeman took off the icepack so she could look at Jenny
while she spoke.P I was testing it on
your friend Andrew, and the helmet made a perfect connection to his internal
network.P So perfect, in fact, that all
of my brains sensory input was redirected from my own body to the helmets
connection.P It was all very
enthralling, to say the least.P Ohhhhhh.P But I suppose Im paying for it now with
this headache.P It just came over me a
few minutes after I ended the session.

Wow.P How long did
you have it on?

Oh, perhaps ten minutes.

Ten minutes?!?P
What would happen if you wore it for an hour or two?

Mrs. Wakeman actually laughed, then winced in pain.P Oh, for heavens sake.P If I had left that helmet on for two hours,
my brain would have become permanently connected to the virtual reality
signal, and permanently disconnected from my own nervous system!P Ohhhhhh.P That helmet could turn somebody into a drooling, mindless
vegetable if they werent careful.P You
would spend the rest of your life feeding me mashed apricots through a
funnel!P And I dont think either of us
would enjoy that.

She patted Jennys hand, and plopped the icepack back on her
face.P But, fortunately, the experiment
was concluded successfully, and the virtual reality helmet is sitting
downstairs in the laboratory, safe and sound.

Jenny gulped hard, very glad that her mom couldnt see the
look on her face.P Yeah heh-heh
safe and sound.P Oh, no, what have
the boys gotten themselves into?

Continued in Chapter
Two